Out Of Time

eighty-seven

"And she's been like this for six weeks, with no change?" Rhodey asked for clarification.

"Yes," Bruce nodded. "And I've reached out to everyone that could possibly know what to do... no one has any answers. It scares me how long we might have to wait. Tony and Steve have barely left her side or gotten any sleep."

"Maybe we can get them-"

Then the medical machines Y/N was attached to started going crazy. Causing Rhodey and Bruce to rush into the room, and Tony and Steve stand on alert. Y/N's body was arching upward, choking.

"What's happening?" Steve worriedly asked.

Bruce checked the monitors before hovering a hand near Y/N's mouth and nose.

"She's fighting the tube," Bruce replied. "She's breathing on her own. Carefully hold her by her shoulders as I pull out the tube."

Tony and Steve quickly did as directed while Bruce began working on the tube. Y/N coughed as the tube was pulled out of her mouth and after. She relaxed back into the bed and, slowly, her eyes fluttered open. Blinking a few, long times, Y/N's eyes finally adjusting to the bright lights above her, allowing her to see the worried men looking down at her.

"I-" She tried. But her throat was scratchy and it hurt to try and speak or swallow.

"Don't try to speak, Y/N," Bruce advised. "Rhodey and I will fetch you some water, but don't try to speak. You've been out for six weeks." Her eyes bulged in surprise.

"But it's okay, Y/N," Steve said, his eyes glistening with happy tears. His hand cupped her cheek. "You're alive. That's all that matters."

"Rhodey and I will be right back." Bruce turned and headed for the door.

"It's good to have you back, Rogers," Rhodey said. All Y/N could do was give him a small smile and a nod.

"We were so worried," Tony admitted quietly, running his knuckles against her other cheek. "Skye came by and told us what happened." Her eyes furrowed in confusion. "Apparently her and what's left of your team is worried. She's the only one who came by though." Y/N nodded in understanding. Tony looked up at Steve. "Hey, Cap, can I have a minute alone with Y/N?"

"Of course," Steve replied. He pressed a kiss to his sister's forehead. "It's good to have you back."

Tony sat back down and waited for Steve to leave, shutting the door behind himself. Y/N was watching Tony's tense and tired body. It hurt her to see how much stress she clearly had caused him and was continuing to cause him. She reached out her hand, waving it until he set his own in it.

"I'm doing this right now, cause I have a few things I want to get off my chest," Tony started. "And I'm not ready to hear your reasonings or excuses. So I just want you to listen." Y/N nodded, ready to listen. "First, I'm sorry. I should have fought to be with you when SHIELD went down. I should have been there to protect you from getting shot. Second, it was stupid of you to disappear like that. You should have at least told someone you were going. I was looking everywhere for you."

"Do you know how hard it was to find out that, in the midst of your disappearance, you had gotten shot again?" Tony continued. "And this time, it was fatal... you coded, multiple times. We-I almost lost you... I can't feel that way again... And to know that Ward is the one that shot you, makes me so angry. And third, I know that Bucky is alive... I don't know when you were planning on telling me, or if you were even planning on telling me, but I know. And I am a little worried about how it will affect us. But..." Tony sighed. "Whatever you chose, I will try and respect. Just, I need some honestly here. I need to know who your team was and why it needed to be a secret. And I need you to talk to me about what you're feeling with Bucky being alive."

"O-kay," Y/N croaked. "'m... s-orr-y..."

~~~

It was a week later before Tony and Y/N were able to talk over everything. They were sitting on their shared bed. It was the first night Y/N was allowed to sleep outside of that medical room.

"I was shocked," Y/N quietly started, "when I realized it was him... he had just shot through my shoulder and I made eye contact with him... his eyes, that's how I knew... it hurts to know that HYDRA brainwashed him and forced him to do their bidding. I haven't looked into it any further. I haven't really had the time and I-I haven't really wanted to. I know that Steve's doing everything he can to search for him, but I can't allow myself to waste that time. Bucky's been trained to hide for decades. We don't have a chance at finding him until he wants to be found."

"So I have to keep living..." Y/N continued, "he's not the same man he was and I'm not the same woman... But I still love him. But I also love you. So much... it hurts... I need you to understand that, that I will always love him because he was my first, but that I love you too. And if you can't understand, then I'll leave. Because I don't want to burden you and cause you anymore pain that I already have. And I-"

Tony kissed her forcefully, interrupting Y/N's ramblings. Surprised, Y/N shed tears as she kissed back.

"I'm not leaving," Tony whispered. "And I'm not going to force you to leave.... I love you."

"Thank goodness," Y/N said in relief. "I was so worried-"

"I know. I just wanted to know the truth. And I do now."

"Well... not all of it... you told me that you wanted to know about my team. And I'll tell you.... But you really can't tell anyone else."

Tony grabbed Y/N's hands, gently pressed a kiss to both of them. "I promise."

"Phil Coulson is alive."

"What?"

"And he's the leader of the team. He's the one who requested that I be put on the team. That's why it had to be kept a secret..."

"Oh my- I- how-"

"I don't know everything, but I do know that whatever Fury had done to Coulson should never be done again."

"Wow. That's-"

"A lot?"

"Yeah," Tony nodded.

"There's something else." Tony looked at Y/N curiously. "Coulson reached out a few days ago, asking me to help him find the things HYDRA stole from SHIELD. And I agreed to it."

"What? You-"

"But I told him that I had to be able to be honest with you about what I was doing. He was semi-understanding, and will continue to be as long as you don't say anything."

"Okay, I think I can handle that. What are you going after first?"

"Loki's scepter."