𝒂𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓 𝒎𝒂𝒏𝒂𝒈𝒆𝒎𝒆𝒏𝒕 || 𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘫.

𝟏𝟗

Some of the people in the group were from my old friend group. Connie and Sasha were the only people from my old friend group. Jean, Sasha, Connie, and I had been friends since middle school and thus had our own friend group. The other two, I recognized as Armin and Mikasa. I liked Armin. He was one of my favorites. I didn't have any particular hatred towards Mikasa, me and her just never really got along. I nodded my head in their direction, my way of saying hello without actually saying it.

We went into the restaurant and sat down. It was kind of awkward, everyone was talking to each other, except for me. I felt left out.

I knew this was a bad idea.

I started fidgeting with my thumbs, before Jean seemed to notice. Once he realized, he cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"So uh, how did you guys like the party last night?"

Most of them just replied with the same answer, saying that the party was okay. Some of them noticed how I hadn't answered the question.

"What about you y/n?" asked Connie.

"The party was great." I replied sarcastically.

Mikasa seemed to shift in her seat, after she heard me.

she knows something.

I studied her body language

she definitely knows something about last night.

We continued talking. I started to get familiar with all of them again. It felt nice to have my friends back finally. While we waited for our food, I got up to go to the bathroom. What I didn't expect, was for Mikasa to also have to go to the bathroom. I didn't speak a word to her, just continuing with my business. She started to speak.

"Hey, I know we've never really talked before, but uh can I talk to you?"

"About?"

"Stuff"

"In a bathroom? Mikasa, we really don't have anything to talk about."

"Y/n please, just let me talk to you for a minute."

I stood there, and nodded my head, allowing her to continue.

"Eren didn't want the two of you to stop being friends. He's just not ready, okay? Just give him some time. He doesn't want to rush it with you. He really does care, this is the last thing he'd ever want. He's heart broken y/n, he's sorry. He wishes that he could tell you right now but, he thinks it isn't the right time. Please, at least try to talk to him again. He needs you."

"What do you mean?"

"It'll make sense someday, when he's ready to finally tell you. As for now though, please just try to keep your calm with him. He's dealing a lot. He's conflicted with his feelings, so please just give him some time."

Mikasa left the bathroom, not even giving me time to reply. I was left puzzled.

Why did he need me?

I walked out of the bathroom, and back to the table. No one seemed to notice anything.

I didn't want to immediately talk to him. Like Jean said, if he really wanted to he'd tell me what he needed to. Eren still hadn't said anything, and neither was I. I wasn't going to talk to him first, if he needed to talk then he could talk to me first. As petty as it might sound, that's how things were going to be.

We all exited the restaurant, and I left with Jean. I could see why a lot of people thought we were dating. Jean and I had always been close. So it's no surprise that he'd grown a crush on me. Whenever people thought we were dating, I'd usually have to correct them. It wasn't like I was revolted with the idea. I just couldn't see myself with him, in that way. However, Eren was a different story.

I had grown to like Eren, maybe even grown attached. I wasn't going to admit it, but not seeing him was hurting me too. I couldn't be a people pleaser and just forgive him, though. I wasn't going to be the person who became friends with him, just for the friendship to come undone. The friendship with Eren was off and on. It'd take some time before either one of us said anything to each other. I don't know I felt this way about him it's not like I liked him or anything, right? I hadn't really felt this way about anyone else, though. It was eating me inside and out, all I wanted to do was see him. As much as I hate him, I also wanted to see him.

Stupid

It was stupid of me to think that Eren and I, would ever become friends.

The drive to Jean's house was a long one, somehow longer than last time. Jean seemed to notice I was in thought.

"What are you thinking about?"

"What? Oh, nothing really."

"What did Mikasa talk to you about?"

How did he know that she talked to me?

"Stuff. How do you know that?"

"Know what?"

"That she talked to me."

"She literally went into the bathroom after you, yet came out before you. Plus, I can read body language. Whatever she said, has you shaken up, right?"

"It's really nothing, Jean."

He ended the conversation at that, and just kept driving.

The truth was, I had been thinking about what she said. I thought about every word she had said. As confused as I was, I couldn't get her words out of my head.

'he needs you' 'he wishes he could tell you'

Her words echoed through my mind on repeat. I was so absorbed in thought, that I hadn't notice that we were at Jean's. Jean pulled me back into reality, by lightly shaking my shoulder. I got out of his car and said my goodbyes, making my way home.

Once I got home, I went upstairs and unlocked my drawer, the one with my phone. I powered it back on and looked at the notifications. There was only one by Eren, I had hoped for more. Only one message, I clicked on it. He just left a simple sentence.

eren
I'm sorry, I really wish I could tell you, love.

Why couldn't he just tell me whatever the hell it is? The sensation in my stomach was building, I wanted to ask him. I needed him to tell me whatever the hell it was, it was eating my up inside.

I didn't reply, instead I just left him on read. I powered my phone back off and locked it back in my drawer. I had no where to go, I could just go on a walk or something? Walking was boring. I decided on just driving around town. The rest of the day I spent driving, enjoying the cool breeze of the summer sky.

It was sad that all of this was going to end soon, with fall coming around. I loved fall, though. I loved everything about it. I found a hill and just sat. I stargazed, the sky was beautiful. I was happy in this moment, more happy then I remembered ever being. I sat and stared at the stars for a few hours, before leaving. It was already almost midnight, meaning I had to be home.

I got in my car and made my way back home. My mom was out again, so my dad was the only one home. My relationship with my dad was surprisingly better than the one with my mom. I got along better with my dad. I just didn't see him as much. I was like his twin flame, the both of us were alike. I walked inside, to see my dad sleeping on the couch. Usually, around this time he'd be awake, yeah he was a bit of a night owl. I guess he was just really tired tonight. I got him a blanket, and covered him. I made me way upstairs, into my room.

Eren, why can you just tell me?

I felt a tear run down my check before quickly wiping it.

why did he have to be this way?

It was bothering me. All of it was. I let a few more tears fall, before wiping them and going to sleep.
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A/N:
i'm not fully going to state what eren wanted to say to y/n. I won't state that until I feel the time is right, which should be in future chapters. I don't want to rush anything between the two, so that's why i'm slowly starting to get there. I hope you guys liked the chapter tho.