A novice's plane captain

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The title joke is that a plane captain is a pilot

And this is the pilot episode

*Cough* anyway, this chapter has some adult language and no censorship

So yeah

Enjoy

ಥ‿ಥ

"Now I know business has been...a bit slow lately, it's no one's fault, hey I'm not naming any names here...Moxxie" said Blitzo as he paced around the office "now does anyone have any bright ideas on how we can get business drumming up again?"

"What. About. A carwash!" Said Millie excitedly

"This is hell Millie, no one cares about their cars being clean here okay?" Said Blitzo frowning

"How about offering videos of us torturing the victims?" said Nebby tilting his head

"We don't want assholes trying to kill us after we kill them Nebby" said Blitzo frowning before brightening up "oh! what about a billboard?"

"We can't afford a billboard sir" said Moxxie frowning

"Maybe a poster or an internet ad....a click bait internet ad!" Said Nebby happily "like a wise man once said "you gotta tickle their balls a little""

(Tell me if you got that reference)

"EW! Have you guys forgotten what service we provide?" Asked Blitzo angrily before happily turning on the tv to show them themselves killing people

"I don't need any reminding sir, considering that you blew most of our salaries on an obnoxious tv ad last week, one you paid to have run for 3 hours on a channel no one watches!" Said Moxxie grumpily

"I watch that channel" said Nebby cheerfully

"Shut up Nebby, I know you have a secret tv in that camera" said Moxxie angrily

"True"

"Hey, excuse me, what's obnoxious about a super fun jingle alright" said Blitzo cheerfully "it's a fun, distraction when an advertisement is spitting bullshit"

"People love musicals sir" said Millie smiling "right Nebby?"

"Yep! my entire race of people can agree with you... literally the entire nightmare realm likes songs and singing" said Nebby happily "the rap battles there are intense since they're literally and figuratively spitting fire"

"Exactly you two! And we're basically doing a musical" Said Blitzo happily "are you gonna crush my musical theatre dreams, like my dad did__"

"Sir"

"__Cause right now, all I see is just my dad's asshole talking to me, crushing my dreams of being who I truly am inside" said Blitzo dramatically

"Wow!...my dad didn't even acknowledge my existence until...wait a sec" said Nebby grabbing his phone and calling someone "hey dad! It's me! Nebby!"

"Who are you?! How did you get this number?! Is this some kind of joke?! I don't have a son named Nebby?!" Said Nebby's dad on speaker

"It's your son, we went together every Saturday with Chris, Junior and Matt" said Nebby tiredly "you have an irrational fear of ladders, not even heights, just ladders"

"Are you stalking me and my family?! I WILL FIND YOU, YOU__"

Nebby ended the call calmly

"Yeah, so I joined the circus" said Nebby bluntly

"....I wanted to guilt trip Moxxie by telling him that I made him employee of the month....but now I don't feel like it" said Blitzo frowning

"Well, since that just happened, I'll just say it bluntly" said Moxxie "a commercial jingle is not comparable to musical theatre, no body actually likes the jingles"

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