He's cold, insensitive and rude... But why can't I stay away?
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My love life was the last of my problems. Last year, bullies, penny less... Senior year didn't present itself exactly as a dream. And everything gets even worst when...
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I can do this I can do this I can do-
The mantra kept echoing in me as nerves attacked my guts and I shifted in my spot just as the final bell rang over our heads. My period had ended a few minutes before so I'd got time to plan this. Well, kinda.
A part of me really felt guilty for pushing Norah away and missed her, but the thing was... I had needed my time. I was frustrated she didn't respected that. But I get it that she meant good. After all, she hadn't been here in my darkest times with Brett, she'd only get to see him now in his weird redemption -if that was even real.
And he got my back with Noel. She was by my side. She only gets too carried away at times and acts for a greater good not seeing that things didn't always had to play by her rules. Yet Connor's words stuck with me since lunch break. Why keep up with this? I was a little upset, but maybe shutting her out was a little too much.
And with Brett... I tried listening to what Connor said, and even with small words he did hit the right buttons. Economy today had been different, I'd tried not being so edgy, not to jump into conclusions at every move... and even accepted to work in his place when Mrs Goldin announced our next's work deadline. This time we had to prepare an exposition of how we were holding on with our project, I didn't felt this clenching in my chest from before. I didn't fear for my integrity nor was worried about him messing this up for me. Not so much. Now I get that, what got him being mean to me in the past, for whatever reason it wasn't anymore. And it wouldn't be back, at least not anytime soon.
Why? Only he knows, but since this time we needed to make a presentation and all we decided the library wasn't an option anymore and we needed a place were we could work more freely.
When Brett offered his I had the instinctival 'no' ready to roll out my tongue. Me vouluntarily going to the Ryder's place? I hadn't stepped a foot there in years and wasn't sure it was the greatest idea. He would had the whole power then, like usually but this time in a more visual situation. But also, maybe he was trying to apologize and come clean for real?
Also, Julia Ryder would be there as well and with that woman in the house he wouldn't dare to try anything wicked. And let's be honest, Julia was like an aunt when growing up. Seeing her might be worth dealing with Brett. Especially knowing he wouldn't put anything on me. So I gingerly accepted and we agreed we'd meet after his soccer practices.
So that leaves me here, if I was willing to face the odds with Brett, Norah deserved it ten times more. After all, she only tried to help.
As the hallway filled with students exiting their classes and moving to go home, I shifted nervously in the balls of my feet, waiting by her locker for the pink-haired girl to appear. I could feel my stomach churning, hoping it wasn't too late and that she's got feed up with my attitude. But Macy's said she missed me, Connor's said the same, and she did defend me from Noel.
