Perth didn't know how much love could change him until he felt it. He was so in love with Saint that he didn't know what to do with himself.
Just sleeping in the same bed as Saint, watching the older boy sleep beside him, had his heart nearly pounding out of his chest.
Him and Saint were official and that's something that Perth was proud to say. He's never been the romantic type but he knew deep down he'd do anything for Saint.
If Saint wanted to fly to Paris and get married on the Eiffel Tower tomorrow morning, Perth would book a flight right away and take his Saint to Paris.
Perth was in love, and, God, did it feel amazing.
He was currently doing that creepy, watching-Saint-sleep routine that he'd started to pick up on, fingers knitting through Saint's hair in a gentle motion, as not to wake the sleeping boy.
Perth yawned, suddenly feeling a wave of sore wash through his body. He'd been working extra shifts at the club in order to help raise the status. Just like at Alive, Perth was the favourite dancer here. His shows on stage were nothing compared to the private shows he gave. Perth knew how to work a man up one-on-one. Saint, however, was just barely trailing behind in being Daddy's Playhouse's best dancer as well. He's gotten better.
Anyways, long shifts, plenty of practices, a shit ton of dancing- it was enough to have anyone weak in the bones.
Perth grunted, shifting to spoon Saint, bringing the smaller boy to fold against him. Perth let out one last yawn before he closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.
Perth opened the front door, his annoyed expression turning soft when he saw who had arrived.
"Bas," he said quietly, pulling the boy by his hand so that he could get out of the rain and into the house. "You're soaking wet. Do you want a cuppa? Some dry clothes?"
"No, only some company," Bas said quietly.
Perth nodded, smiling weakly at Bas and guiding him into the den, letting him sit on the couch before plopping right beside him, hoping to warm the small lad up.
"Are you selling the house?" Bas asked, looking up at Perth with his sparkling eyes. Eyes that have drawn Perth in since he'd realized he was gay. Bas was older, more expire owned, so he was out as gay three years before Perth was.
"M'gonna sell it soon," Perth replied quietly. "Need the money so I can move out of this hell."
Bas nodded in understanding, looking down at his feet. "I miss her, Perth."
"I know," Perth replied softly. "I don't, however, know why you're here. It's all my-"
"I wish you'd stop saying that," Bas said, placing his palm, soft and cold, against Perth's cheek. "You would've died, too, if you were here."
"They raped my mum and my sister. I would've beaten them as soon as I knew those assholes' intentions," Perth said firmly.
"Perth... It's too late now. You can't change what happened, but you have to realize that you couldn't have change it if you were there-"
Perth didn't know how it happened, but he was suddenly kissing Bas and that was the night that Perth took Bas's virginity.
It was an odd sort of thing, since Bas was almost nineteen and had come out when he was fourteen, but he always knew he liked guys over girls.
Perth also found out, on that night, that he needed sex. Having sex with Bas helped him forget and needed to forget.
He craved to forget.
"Perth... Please wake up... Don't cry."
Perth woke up, gasping and crying, and he didn't know what was going on.
It wasn't even that sad, really, he just knew that he hurt Bas, Bas! Bas was so in love with Perth just like Perth loved Saint and Perth would literally die if he knew that Saint was in love with someone else.
Perth could just barely hear Saint whispering comforting things to him.
He was so upset with himself.
For years, he'd used Bas and it was so cruel of him to do. Saint had hated Bas because he and Perth were having sex, but the truth is that it was all Perth's fault for taking advantage of a mourning Virgin.
"Bas," Perth gasped, clutching Saint's hand. "I need- I've got to- so sorry," Perth gasped, closing his eyes and letting out a sob as something heavy clutched his stomach, making him choke on his words as well as his breath.
Saint sighed, climbing into Perth's lap and clutching his face. "Perth Tanapon. Please look at me. Look."
Perth made eye contact with Saint.
"I love you," Saint whispered, smiling softly. "Please breathe, baby, I love you and I need you to calm down and breathe, alright?"
Perth let out another little gasp, closing his eyes tightly.
"Perth."
Perth's eyes snapped back open, pleading silently with Saint, begging him to help.
"Shhh," Saint cooed. "Count in your head, all the way to ten. Slow. And then count aloud, okay?"
Perth did as told. The first few numbers came out in gasps, but he calmed down throughout it as Saint whispered "I love you" after each number.
Perth let out a sigh when he finished, finally able to breathe. Saint let out a relieved sigh, gasping a little himself when Perth suddenly pulled him in for a kiss.
"Thank you," Perth said hoarsely. "Usually have to calm myself down. Or, if I'm with someone else, a doctor has to do it."
"Maybe you should see a therapist" Saint said suddenly, yet quietly.
"No," Perth said firmly.
"Per-"
"No, please. I've already had to do that. It won't work," Perth insisted. "You help me make it better and you are the only person I need in my life. And... And Bas. I... I've got to make things right with him, Saint. I have to. He's... The only piece of my sister I have left."
Saint nodded a little, leaning in to peck Perth's lips quickly. "Okay, Perth. You can talk to him. I trust you. No kissing, though, yeah?"
"Course," Perth breathed. "I only want to kiss you."
