Addicted to doctor forth ✔

30.It's never too early or late to Reconcile

he cannot have a steak, but he put up a fight to eat and later vomited his guts out in the washroom, he cannot bare dust, yet he cleaned the store room and ended up having allergy, he cannot lift weights yet he ended up moving the big boxes, he put all the fight like a brave one to prove whom and for what? he did all these things to forth to gain attention and to prove that he can do everything for forth like nami does! So that forth will not leave like his mom did! His mom left beam as she felt burden to take care of her sick son, so he is scared what if forth leaves him too, and on top of that he want forth to be happy not with someone like him! But he could leave forth, his complex feelings of insecure thinking is never going to end, he wants to stay positive too he did fight for his heart right now he is trying to be positive, at least he wants to try and see..

he cannot blend coffee beans, he don't know what forth likes to eat steak and spicy food, he don't know what forth likes! And dislikes he don't know what forth watches when he gets bored, he don't know forth favourites shows he don't know anything, should he agree to forth? Should he go on for more dates to learn what forth likes, may be he can know some details like steak so he can learn everything about forth too, why to learn what forth likes or dislikes, do he love him? Yes! Should he brave up with the little heft amount of energy that is left with him! Should he encourage his worthless self and prove! Why he is having all these thoughts when he wanted to push away forth! Why love is this complicated?

yesterday beam learn forth likes to eat steak and a French made grape wine, yesterday he tried to move away from forth but he could not, so today should he give it a try for another chance and see how he will end up with forth and see if he had destiny with forth, he knew once he lost forth with same fear of not having a future with him! But right now he was standing in forth arms again! May be he had a future with forth, and only he should be thinking to brave up with the tiny amount of energy he had! Should he give himself a chance and walk to the end of the world with forth and wait for his good bye! Should he! Can he keep forth with him until the last moment of his life and receive a hearty good bye from forth, should he?

He is weak, he is not immune, he is fatigue, yet he yesterday he did everything for forth, still he is surviving which means he can do it, he can stay strong for forth, in fact forth will make him strong, at least he should give it a chance and face the adventure, how long can he hide in the darkness, he cannot right! When he loves forth so much, he should not leave the man to someone else, it is giving him an instant death, no he cannot let go of forth until he last breath, until then forth is his, he cannot runaway form the man who is running after him

The minutes of hug, forth ask again "...what happen in the restaurant, you don't like the place or food but I forced you to go, without thinking about what you like?"

Seeing forth being asking him like a lost boyfriend, he sniffed his allergy and meets forth teary eyes, he shook his head "...I am sorry its not your fault, what can you do when I not being open to you,"

Forth shakes his head "..just tell me, did I make you uncomfortable,"

Beam gives a emotional smile ".....I am comfortable with you,"

"then what?"

The patience in the doctor is making beam more emotional, he tells him "...I cannot eat steak, I get heart burn and indigestion, I feel like I am not worth to be your date," he is embarrassed and looks down hastily cleaning his wet cheek

Forth eyes widen he holds beam cheeks and caresses the wetness "...don't beam, you could tell me, and we would change your meals, and continue our date, its simple.." he suggested

Beam smiled "...but we are on date and I could not eat steak with you,"

Forth have a teary chuckle he leans his forehead to beam forehead, no matter how much he hurt forth, but he is there for him again and again, he don't have any energy to hurt him anymore

"...yesterday, you did eat all my favourite food," he mentioned

Beam closed his eyes feeling his stomach upset from yesterday's food,

"why did you? If you hate me, why did you do that beam!" the demand for an answer was mostly a sound of pleading to say why did he do that.

Beam arms reached for forth torso to hug him one arm around forth back waist and one arm around the muscle back he hugged him tighter burring his face into forth's chest he don't want to leave him again, yesterday the taste is too bitter he don't want to leave forth again not again! He cannot! He will fight for his man beam musters his courage

Feeling the soft arms hugging him forth closed his eye over beam head and arms looping around beams waist he tightened their hug "tel me.. why your insisting to leave me?"

"..i am sorry for yesterday, p'forth"

He whispers in beam ear "..don't say that anymore, instead you can tell me 'I love you',"

Hearing that beam sobs into forth chest "...can I have a bit more time, please don't leave me, I know I am asking you to wait, but...please"

Forth cups beam face and cleans his face he nods meeting beam eyes "...I will"

The voice of forth and his eyes are giving confidence to beam too, leaving the hug. Forth brings up drops for beam and digestion syrup he hands them to beam "...here, today morning I brought them at pharmacy and trying to find you to apologize,"

Beam smiles looking to the medicines in forth hand, nami and max walks to them, nami brought a water bottle for beam "sorry, for making you get jealous of forth,"

Beam gets embarrassed he gives a teary smile and receives the water bottle even his fingers are trembling, forth reached for the bottle "let me,"

Beam lets him to open the bottle cap and hand the bottle to him, he again opens the syrup bottle cap and makes beam to drink small amount of syrup. Beam face scrunched he gulps few sips of water and forth leads to sit on chair and to put drops in beam eyes

After five minutes beam felt his eyes are not burning and itching, forth ask "are you okay,"

Beam nods in silence he is suddenly feeling loved and he is getting embarrassed forth is treating him like a child and nami is teasing him with smiles 

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