You Should Be Here | j. christopher

020

"What did you wanna talk about?" He sat down in the front room, a chocolate brown couch underneath him.

Ayoluwa gently put down the animal and folded both of her hands over her toned abdomen, "Josh... Um, you probably didn't notice but I was throwing up a lot when we were living together and I thought it was because of stress from you but," Ayoluwa took a deep breath and spread her hands, "I went to the doctor a couple of days ago and..."

Ayoluwa took in another breath, "I'm about to be three months."

Joshua blinked once then twice, "Three months of what?"

"Pregnant."

Joshua went deaf after that.

Ayoluwa was saying something but after that single word, Joshua found it hard to do anything except force himself to breathe.

"Wait, wait, wait. Hold on a minute," Joshua said, making Ayoluwa halt.

"It's mine?" Joshua asked.

Ayoluwa rolled her eyes, "Of course it's yours. Are you fucking stupid? Why the fuck would you ask that?"

"You haven't even been back for three months and you're telling me that you're about to be three months pregnant? Of course I had to ask!"

Ayolwua huffed a little before stomping over to where her piano was and snatching her phone off the top, "Why did I know you were gonna say some shit like this? Look," She pointed to the calendar app displayed.

"My tour finished on December 15th and my doctor told me that around that week is when I conceived. Today is February 17th and I've never cheated on you," Ayoluwa said in a matter-of-fact tone.

Joshua stood up and began to pace, "What are you gonna do?"

"'You'?" Ayoluwa repeated.

"What?" Joshua stopped pacing and looked at her.

Ayoluwa had a slightly somber expression, "You said 'you' and not we."

"I'm just saying. We're both a little young and none of us have time for a kid. I just wanted to see if maybe you thought about-." His tongue caught on the word 'abortion'.

"Look, I'm just gonna be frank right now... You, more than anyone else, knows how bad I want to be a mom." Ayoluwa replied in a soft tone.

Joshua sighed then looked down at his shoes before back up to Ayoluwa, "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

The two had had conversations about Lauryn back when it was Ayoluwa primarily taking care of her and she had always been excited about the prospect of being a mother to her own kids one day.

Joshua wanted to be a father too, don't misunderstand him, but they both were too young, too busy with their jobs and broken up.

"So hear me when I say this... I won't let you do to our kid what you did to me," Ayoluwa warned, "You don't get to pick and choose when to play dad, I won't let you disappoint our baby that way. So if you don't want any parts of this... I need you to let me know so I can move accordingly from now on."

Joshua stared down at her, "You got all that from the word 'you'?"

Ayoluwa shook her head and crossed her arms on her chest, "I just don't want us to be three years into coparenting and something happens that makes you want to be stop being there for the baby. That would honestly be the worst thing you could ever do to me. So again, if you're gonna act all finicky, I'd rather just be a single mom."

Joshua tucked his bottom lip behind his teeth for a half second, "This is a l-."

"If you say that this is a lot, I'm gonna start screaming, I swear to God," Ayoluwa groaned before strutting to the kitchen, narrowly avoiding the puppy's paws.

"Stop acting like this is only happening to you." Joshua replied as he followed her, "It's my kid too. My life is going to be changed too."

"When did I say that it wasn't?" Ayoluwa whirled around to face him, "Ugh! I ended things to avoid stupid little arguments like this."

Joshua dragged one hand down the lower half of his face before bracing his hands against the gray granite counter, "I just... A baby. We're gonna have a baby. Are we ready for that?"

Ayoluwa sighed as she backed up on the counter next to him, "Yeah. Yeah, Josh, we are. As for if we're ready... I guess we'll just have to see."

"Have you set up any doctor's appointments? Can I come to them?"

Ayoluwa let a little smile form on her face at the questions, "Of course."

"If it turns out to be a boy, can we name him after me? J.J for short?" Joshua asked after a moment.

Ayoluwa snickered, "Not a chance in hell!"

NOTE FROM KY
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