"Just hold on to me, you won't fall." Adrian assures, as I cling to his arm "unless I fall first then we're both screwed." He adds and an overwhelming urge to strangle him takes over me.
Before I can say anything, Cel's shriek makes me look across...
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A.E.A
BEFORE THE HORRENDOUS CRASH that had proved fatal to my family, I barely blinked an eye when stepping into first class air cabins.
In fact, I did it so often it had become almost second nature, my ears accustomed to the always there hum of the massive transport and my lips always stretched in a smile, ready to greet back the awaiting cabin crew.
Now, however, my anxiety leaves my lips red and torn in countless places, my necklace having imprinted a line against my neck due to the constant tugging and my fingers tired from rotating my rings every minute.
I've rarely felt anxiety, not in the way Blair does just before her events or how Elle had to count her breaths during the days we were supposed to get our results but ever since that day, something that seemed like an everyday activity, now made me break out in cold sweat at the mere thought of it.
And yet to be trapped in a gigantic body of metal as it continues to fly right through the midst of thundering clouds has probably broken all records of the anxiety levels I have felt throughout my life.
I'm merely another thunderclap away from hyperventilating.
I want to go back home, to Adrian and I's penthouse where It's warm and safe and I can wrap myself in my weighted blanket and go to sleep in my husband's arms, instead, I'm in a plane that's in a losing battle with turbulence and angry hail threatening clouds.
I squeeze my eyes close but that only makes me hyper aware to everything around me-each dip, the frantic clicks of the attendant's heels and a distant wailing baby.
I should've just listened to Aid and had this damned conference online but it hurts-to know that something I've been doing since I was five has now personified into the monster under my bed-the very demon chasing me through my nightmares.
I was making progress when we-I stop the thought before it can continue to fester. As it's alternative, I remember Adrian's whispered words from last night.
"It's okay to fear things. I'm not going to lie to you and say that it'll be easy tomorrow just to temporarily soothe your worries but you've sat through flights, you've conquered this before Angel. You know that the easiest way to go about this, is through it."
"What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?" He'd proceeded, quoting Van Gogh against my lips.
I breathe in deeply, focusing on his soothing voice and letting go. I repeat this process, ignoring my surroundings and feeling the chokehold of fear around my neck loosen just as an announcement rings through the plane.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking, it seems as though we'll be having a layover in Colarado due to the tough weather conditions, once landed you will be further guided and informed about your next flight and accommodations at the airport."
