The tightness forming on my throat was suffocating me, feeding my head ill at ease. Nilagay ko ang phone sa tote bag na sukbit at pinaglaruan ang strap nito sa aking balikat, trying to distract myself from tilting my head to a certain direction. Hindi ko alam kung bakit biglang gusto ko na lang umalis nang makita sila kanina.
I honestly don't know what to believe anymore. Ayokong maniwala na cheater nga talaga si Ross. I hate cheaters... and I don't want to hate him. But he's a cheater... so kailangan kong magalit sa kaniya. I don't want to turn a blind eye for the people who was tricked by that kind of cruelty.
'Di ko alam na kayang mag-cheat ni Ross. I thought he know better.
I shook my head. Bakit ko pa ba pinproblema 'yon? I'm not his girlfriend. Sapat na ang ginawa ng ex niya na buhusan ako sa mall, hindi ko na dapat pinoproblema pa ang pagtatalo nila. Wala na sa kamay ko ’yon. Mas marami pa 'kong dapat intindihin.
Taking a deep breath, I licked my bottom lip to taste the frappe and a mix of discomfort playing with my head. Mayroon pa akong natitirang pera sa savings ko pero wala akong planong mag-withdraw. I'm saving it for something bigger. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang 'bigger' na 'yon pero paniguradong mas marami akong magagastos sa future na kailangan para sa pag-aaral ko.
I roamed my eyes around the place. Malapit nang maubos ang frappe ko at handang-handa na 'kong umalis. I can't stand to be within Ross's vicinity at this moment. May kakaibang bigat akong nararamdaman para sa ginawa niya. I shouldn't think about the offense but it's difficult...
He was a friend.
I closed my eyes, clouding my mind with comfort words from the sudden burst of chaotic thoughts. Inangat ko ang ulo ko at marahang sinulyapan ang dalawa, giving in to the temptation.
The girl from the mall before was making faces to Ross, her eyes were almost teary and her face was red in agitation. May sinasabi siya kay Ross ngunit dahil limang mesa ang layo ko sa kanila, wala akong ideya sa mga salitang binabagsak niya.
I sighed. This isn't a good sight to unwind.
Binababa ko ang tingin sa relo. It's already past nine o'clock in the evening. My mind was full of thoughts and plans that it won't fit anymore into a one container. Thinking of it exhausts me. I'm so overwhelmed. Going here was supposed to prevent peer pressure from knocking on my head. Looking at this situation, I know I need to leave.
Stitching a pile of problems in a layer of problems... Great.
I shaked my head and stood up, gathering my things above the wooden table and planting it to my white tote bag. There's three minions sewed in the knitted bag, they were making dumb faces. Stuart was looking directly with a bored expression, Dave's tounge were out and one of his eyes were bigger than the other one, Otto was showing his butt while sticking his tounge out.
They’re so stupid I'm inlove with them.
I find myself breathing deep. Minions just saved me from having a panic attack. Jesus. Kung alam ko na ang tote bag ko lang ang magpapakalma sa'kin, dapat pala hindi na ako umalis ng bahay.
I marched my way toward the trash can near me. Malapit ang basurahan sa table ng dalawa.
I glanced at their direction. The girl was still beside his table, madiin ang paghawak niya sa edge ng mesa, her knuckles whitening. Iritado ang mukha niya at mukhang gustong-gusto nang umalis. Her eyes were hovering around the place, looking humiliated.
"Umuwi ka na, Loti," I heard Ross said, looking calm and unconcerned. Huminto ako sa paglalakad papalapit sa kanila nang mukhang mas nagalit pa ang babae sa sinabi. I maintained my posture and blinked, shaking my head and walking ahead my path.
