According to Plan

Chapter 7

You pull out your iPad and load the manuscript (un-inspiredly titled "crazy love")

You attempt to ignore the poor grammar- writing isn't everyone's forte- and, slowly, a picture begins to form.

It starts out on the set where you and she meet. You're apparently a brazen lesbian, obsessed with her from the very second you meet.

You and Richard conspire to get the naive and sweet Becky into bed together. The original plan was that Richard was only in it for a thrill, and that afterwards, he was quite happy to let you pursue a relationship with her.

But the night together- which was written up in graphic (if not exactly honest or attractive) detail- was a revelation for Richard- who saw in Becky a final chance for the life he had always wanted. That was the term she used, and it makes you uneasy, though you can't put your finger on exactly why.

The rest of the time you had spent together on set was a series of childish competitions between you and Richard for the eventual prize of Becky- who chose Richard, because she too saw herself as exactly what could "help" him achieve his goals.

It took a while to understand exactly what she was helping him with- but then there was a chapter devoted to Richard's closeted bisexuality- a heart wrenching story about how he had never quite gotten over his last relationship with a former (male) costar, and the consistent love and forgiveness that Becky had displayed when she found him cheating on her with the same man about a year into their relationship. Suddenly- "what he wanted" made a lot more sense. And it burned you to your core- the implications of Becky's obvious bias- that for some reason, same sex coupling would some how bar people from a life filled with satisfactory relationships or the prospect of easing a healthy family.

Apparently, your participation- and obsession- with Becky didn't end in Canada either. You were still desperately in love with her, and did everything you could to ruin the relationship that kept the two of you apart.

There were three specific incidents- where Becky had legitimately been in LA, and at your place, with out Richard. And that's where the truth of these incidents ended.

Each time, you had used your relationship with Richard- who you were still sleeping with (to "prove" to Becky that he didn't care about her) to convince her that you were the right person for her. The last time- after she had caught Richard with his ex- she had given in- another graphically depicted scene that ended up being the least Inspired lesbian sex you'd ever read. (It was one thing to lie about your sex life- but to do it poorly- what an insult!)

The end of the story was all about Becky's self realization- that she was a strong, independent woman who didn't need any man- or woman- to make her whole.

Which would perhaps be a much more inspiring story if you- and any one who knew how to use a search engine- didn't know that she had only broken up with Richard once she was already dating her current co-star.

It wasn't exactly a compelling story. But it was the sort of thing a certain kind of person would absolutely love. It was sensational- but not spectacular, and grammar aside, there was certainly a chance that it could sell.
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The next morning- after 3 cups of coffee, you were still groggy. You tried to concentrate on making sure everything went smoothly for your team. But they were an efficient group, and the set was incredibly well run for it only being the second day.

You had the surreal experience of cursing the well organized, low key efficiency being displayed. You would have killed for a nice little melt down or an equipment error- anything to distract you from having to look Richard in the eye.

He came down a hall at the same time as you- behind the scenes crew in tow. When you saw each other, his eyes turned into saucers. Your heart raced. What were you going to say to him?