According to Plan

Chapter 1

Things don't always go as planned.

You're trying to learn that; to truly accept that it was OK for everything to not be perfect. You want to move past your break up, but it's still too new, too fresh, too painful.

You'd known it was over for months. But both of you had been afraid. Afraid of the promises you'd made- and hopeful that the day would come when those early feelings- the heart racing passion, the pledges of love, the deep understanding and communication that had been there- would come back.

What had changed? Why did it feel like every night, you two were slipping further and further apart?

Why did the sex get worse, then less frequent, then stop? Why did the chaste kisses hurt more than no kisses at all? Why did you sometimes wake up with an arm around your waist feeling more like a shackle than a loving gesture?

And despite knowing that this was happening, why were you surprised to find a strange woman in bed with your lover?

Sad things can only turn more sour; when you ignore the problems, they fester. While you like to think that you would never do what had been done to you, you also know your fear had been part of what let it happen.

And as hard as it was- dividing up the life you two had created into boxes- the apologies they provided and the forced forgiveness you gave, the apartment you had decided to keep felt as empty as your heart.

You wondered how long you would feel this hollow. How many more days would you wake up, forgetting that you were alone in a bed that now felt too vast, a sea you'd been cast out into in a leaky life raft? You wondered if you would ever recover, if you would ever start sailing again.

But you went through the motions of life, however zombie like you felt.

The long work hours you used to fight over are a solace now. You dive into extra work, take on projects you never could have had time for if you were required home, you try things that you never thought you'd be good at, because you have nothing to lose, and, lo and behold, you're getting noticed for it.

An opportunity you never imagined for yourself falls into your lap. It means 6 weeks away from your empty, lonely apartment. 6 weeks away from "concerned" friends all trying to set you up with some one new, all meaning well and just hoping that you'll get back out there. It's six weeks where you won't have to worry about accidentally bumping into your fabulously happy former lover and their new girl- the beautiful one that you'd seen too much of on the emerald sheets that had been given up in the break up- the sheets that had been your favorite before that day.

And six more weeks sounds like a perfect amount of time to get over everything. Six weeks away is perfect, and paying the bills is perfect too, and so you pack up for your first international work trip.
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It's only Canada. But you've never had an excuse to go before, and now your ticket is bought and paid for, and you arrive at the airport and catch a taxi and you're welcomed into the studio company like a friend.

You're not an actress or a producer, strictly below the lines craft worker. But the atmosphere of the show is familiar.

Some people are company men (there are some women, mostly in the wardrobe and makeup departments.) But most are contract workers like you. It reminds you of theater camp- a bunch of creative people spending days working hard, and you can only assume, nights drinking harder.

You are the only girl in the sound department- the excuse that's always used is that it's harder for girls to boom- not that you've had any problems- you're tall- and have the added bonus of not being afraid to wear heels to gain more leverage if you need to hold the deceptively heavy microphone over an especially tall cast member.