Broken

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I'm sorry. There is really nothing else to say for what you're about to read...


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It was easier. 
The lying. 
The pretending. 

His fake smile slipped easily over his face, the laughter came out at the right time with the right sound. 
There were monsters born, such as Chung-Ho and Seong-Min, and then there were monsters who were created. Like he had become one. Like he was about to truly become when he broke the heart of the boy he loved, doing to Jungkook what Seong-Min had done to him. What did the reasons matter? Jungkook would never know them. But he was willing to become the villain in this story if it meant Jungkook could have the future he deserved. The future he would have had if he'd never met Jimin. 
He wished he had never met him in the first place. Never known what it felt like to be loved by him. Because that wall he had created around his heart wouldn't last forever. And when it came crushing down-

No. He couldn't think about that now. About the after. There was only the now and what he had to do to protect Jungkook. 
Seong-Min told him to wait at least until the three days were over and he was back in Seoul, so that's what he did. 
He told him to make Jungkook believe he didn't love him. So he would. 
He told him to return back to him once it was over, so that's what he would do. 

He was back in his little attic rooftop flat, the room drenched in complete darkness yet he was wide awake. 

The time at the beach house had passed in a blur. He'd done at good job being convincing. 
He'd played with the others, drank his beers, watched them get drunk and holler until late into the night. He had lain beside Jungkook in bed, turning away the moment the younger was asleep because he couldn't bear to watch him. Jungkook had always been able to crumble that wall, even the massive one he had created now. 

He didn't let himself enjoy what he knew would be the last moments with him. 
The moment he let that realization sink in, he would break.
So he just kept feeling nothing. And he'd already set the hints about what was to come. He'd slipped out of Jungkook's embraces too quick and often with random excused. And the look on Jungkook's face had almost been enough to break through to him, so he always looked away quickly. 

And when Seong-Min kept up the pretense of being such a loving, caring new friend, not even then had he felt anything. He let him. 
He let him laugh with them, smiled as he beat Jungkook in beer pong, not even feeling a tinge of disappointment. Why shouldn't Seong-Min win? He'd won everything else.

He supposed he should even thank Seong-Min for playing his part so perfectly. Jungkook was so entranced by him, he payed less attention to him. Or at least he'd thought that until the younger had pulled him aside on the last evening, asking him for a walk on the shore. 

Jimin had agreed. 
And then Jungkook had asked him how he was doing. Why he was acting so distant. Whether he wanted to leave. 

He was doing fine. Lie.
He was just not used to so many people. Truth. 
But no, he didn't want to leave. Lie. He wanted to run. He wanted to disappear. He wished to have never existed in the first place. 

Jungkook had turned him around, stood close enough for their chests to touch, Jimin able to hear his heartbeat under the soft fabric of his flannel shirt. A heart he would soon break. 

He'd taken his face into both hands, cupping it lovingly and kissed him, the moonlight reflected on the soft waves, the sound of the ocean and the other's laughing and hooting in the background, his hair shining in a silver light. 

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