for every question why

london's calling

The house was quiet, both of his parents sleeping and Mali out. The opened door to his bedroom revealed the wreckage. Clothes were sprawled over the floor, along with the comforter from his bed and one of his curtains. The posters that used to hang on his walls were shredded up. The message was clear when he noticed the shelf of football trophies was untouched.

His face felt hot and he could feel sweat beginning to cling to his forehead and underarms. The air outside was much colder, he noticed as he stumbled back through the front door. The chill made Calum feel like he was shaking on the long walk back to Michael's house.

No matter how special Ashton was to Calum, Michael would always be his best friend. He knew he would be welcome there, even when he wasn't welcome in his own home.

Calum thought he must have looked insane, slowly walking down the main road in the middle of the night, crying his eyes out. Luckily nobody pulled over and tried to talk to him or take him to the nearest psych ward.

When Karen Clifford opened the front door, revealing the boy with mussed hair and tear streaks down his cheeks, all Calum could do was cry more and ask to see Michael. He cried even harder when she hugged his shaking form.

"What the hell happened?" Michael asked, pulling Calum into his bedroom. It smelled like a teenage boy and there was a paused FIFA game on the television.

"She trashed my fucking room an-and I just left," Calum cried as he laid down on Michael's unmade bed. "I didn't know what to do."

Michael's expression steeled.

"This is all because of football?" he asked. Calum nodded quickly. His head felt dizzy with tears. "I didn't realize it was this serious, Cal."

"Neither did I," Calum said, shaking his head. "I'm their son, they should love me." He cried a bit more, rolling over to hide his face in the comforter. Michael rubbed a calming hand over his back.

"I'm sorry. It shouldn't be like this."

Calum whined low in his throat. "Well, it is." His words were muffled by the fabric.

"Listen, you can stay here as long as you want. Fuck 'em," Michael reassured him.

"Thank you," Calum sniffled. Calum fell asleep on Michael's bed to the sound of the other boy finishing his game.

A week passed before Calum's parents let him back in. A week of Mali begging them to let him back, and harsh phone calls where Calum sat silently listening to them dismantle every idea in his head.

Little did they know that 5 Seconds of Summer had a huge opportunity in front of them. A recording space in London, with producers and writers and people who could make this a real career for them. Calum felt himself slowly tearing at the seams as his life pulled him one way and his parents pulled him another.

Maybe he was desperately clinging to the hope that one day the relationship could be mended, but each step he took with the band felt like another step away from their affection. 

The others assigned Luke to convince Calum to move with them. It was almost impossible to say no to Luke's puppy dog eyes.

"So about London."

"I don't know yet," Calum interrupted, his eyes staying off Luke. From his glance at the floor, he could tell his friend was anxious; Luke kept shifting his weight from foot to foot.

"We all want you there, obviously," Luke said.

"I want to be there too, you know that, Luke. It's just, my parents just let me back in the house and stuff, I shouldn't fuck that up," Calum reasoned, trying to convince himself more than Luke. Everything was happening so fast, Calum just wanted a minute to breathe.

"Yeah, no, I totally get that." Luke paused. "It's just-"

"Just what?"

"We need you, Cal," Luke said. Calum scoffed. "Wh- I'm not lying! We do!"

"Listen, I'm committed to this band, but you do not need me for anything," Calum said, turning and trying to walk away from Luke to hide his shaking hands.

"Calum!" Luke grabbed Calum by the shoulder and spun him around. "You're like the glue, dude. We all need you!"

Calum frowned.

"Who else can calm Michael down when he's had too many red bulls?" Calum nodded, remembering holding Michael's head to his chest and lightly petting his hair.

"I guess but-"

"And when I got scared to go on stage, you- you were right there with the right words, and then we went on and smashed it," Luke continued frantically, grabbing at Calum's hands. "And Ash, I don't think he'll come to London if you stay here, he needs you so bad."

Calum's cheeks burned. "Okay Luke, I get it." Luke eyed him, brows quirked. "I do ." He paused. "I'll try and see what I can do."

Luke cheered and pulled Calum into a hug.