The Sun, Moon & Stars

82. Apologies That Mend Hearts

Remus hesitated, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jackets, looking up at the sky. The moon, which had been full just a couple nights ago, and the bright stars that dotted the pitch black sky like freckles.

"Come to kick me out?" Sirius finally spoke, not turning back to look at him.

Remus was surprised he had spoken first, but was secretly grateful as he took timid steps towards the man. He sat down next to Sirius on the stone cold step, their knees almost touching as he paused.

"No." Remus spoke softly, "Not yet."

Sirius made a 'hm' noise, looking down at the bottle of firewhiskey in his hands, raising it to his lips and downing an abnormally large amount.

"You shouldn't drink that much, s'not good for you." Remus suggested gently.

"Good thing I'm a grown man and can make my own decisions then." Sirius replied cooly.

Remus sucked in a breath, "That's fair. I deserve that."

The two sat in silent for a couple minutes. Sirius brought the bottle of alcohol to his lips every once in a while, and Remus sat fumbling with his fingers, his gaze averted to the ground.

"Can I have some?" Remus murmured sometime after, and Sirius shrugged as he handed over the bottle without turning to look at him.

"It's yours anyhow." Sirius mumbled.

Remus didn't reply as he took a quick swig of the drink, wincing as the strong liquor travelled down his throat, handing over the bottle after he swallowed it.

With a surge of confidence that was surely the firewhiskey shot he just downed, he began to speak.

"I say things I don't mean."

Sirius tensed, gaze still averted to the ground.

"I say things I don't mean, and I lash out when a conversation is uncomfortable. Ophelia and Ginger tell me this all the time. I avoid things...discussions mainly." Remus chuckled nervously, "It's not one of my best features."

Sirius didn't respond.

"I got into a horrible fight with Ophelia last year." He admitted, "She said something that frustrated me and I lashed out and said things I didn't mean."

Sirius' eyes flickered up.

"I was stubborn." He laughed bitterly, looking down at his hands, "And we didn't speak for over a week. She needed help, and I was too stubborn to apologize."

Remus sighed, looking up at the sky, trying to find the right words, but they seemed to be failing him at the moment.

"I say things I don't mean." He repeated, for the third time in this brief, one-sided conversation, "I get angry, and it just keeps spiralling. I start going off and I can't stop myself until I feel like I've won."

"I know." Sirius murmured.

Remus turned ever-so slightly to get a glance of him.

"Don't act so surprised." Sirius mumbled, "There was a time when I was the person who knew you the best. I suppose I've been surpassed by now."