Some Things Cannot Be Fixed, They Can Only Be Carried

Chapter 2) Tears; They Make You Suffer Less

I glance over at Haruka. He's busy staring off into space, he clearly has not heard a single word of the commotion Rin was making just now.

I smile sadly, taking his hand in mine, and for the first time I'm very glad he's completely unaware of what's going on. Otherwise he would've heard that Rin, a friend who he had to miss for multiple years, would rather go to Haruka's funeral than visit him in the hospital.

Haruka's eyes gaze past me, not even noticing me when he does.

It's painful to watch, and I get where Rin's coming from, but that doesn't mean it would've been better if Haruka had just died right then and there. Right?

I shake my head; that's just wrong.

I'm glad Haruka's still alive, even when he's nothing like who he used to be; there's still hope for him, because he's not dead yet. Haruka can still go back to who he once was.

I get startled by a lively knock at the door, so does Haruka, squeezing my hand tighter than he has done ever before; I hope he doesn't get too strong, or it's going to hurt to hold his hand soon.

"Come in," I answer, trying to get my whole act back together after what just happened.

I'm actually relieved to see that it's not Rin and Gou returning. I don't think I could've handled being around Rin right now; he's also hurt, I get it, but that doesn't mean he can say stuff like that.

Instead Nagisa and Rei enter the room, seeming much more chill under the strange circumstances. Nagisa's even talking as he comes in with a basket filled with various kinds of fruit.

"Hey, guys," Nagisa says cheerfully, not even having let go of the door. "You'll never guess who we ran into in the hallway just now!" He closes the door behind them once Rei is inside.

Rei seems a little less calm, but Nagisa makes up for that by just chatting on and on as usual. "Rin and Gou! They were fighting, I think." Nagisa turns around. "Did something happen while they--"

He stops midsentence when he lays eyes upon Haruka. Nagisa eyes fill up with tears right away. They get bigger and bigger, and he even almost drops the fruits basket.

"Ow," Nagisa mutters, glancing at Rei, probably looking for a proper way to react. Though Rei is just as frozen into place as Nagisa is. "I didn't think--"

"Me neither," Rei replies to Nagisa almost right away.

Even though they gave no indication of what they're talking about, I know exactly what they mean.

I just want to tell them to sit down, take a breath and don't let this hit them as much as it hurt Rin. But Nagisa doesn't need those words; he's not quick to lose his act. Even when one of his friends is hospitalized, he's always ready to lighten the mood, ignoring the pain we all feel.

"We brought all the good stuff!" Nagisa says cheerfully, holding up the basket filled with all sorts of fruit, going from small kiwifruits to a big, round, green watermelon. "Who's in for fruit?"

I'm wordless though, impressed yet terrified by how quickly Nagisa can brighten a mood.

When no one replies, Nagisa nudges Rei; he's trying to stay under the radar, but it's obvious that Nagisa's well aware of Rei spacing out right now. But as soon as Nagisa's elbow pokes Rei's side, he snaps back to reality and answers, "Oh, yeah, I would very much enjoy some fruit."

"Come here, I'll cut the watermelon into slices." I get up and take the fruit with me to the small counter where I've seen nurses prepare things earlier today. Once I've got my back turned to all of them, I catch myself smiling; relieved that at least Nagisa's still acting like himself. It sucks to see everyone act so off, but I bet seeing Nagisa not-cheerful would be like an actual slap in the face.