Cursed | Draco Malfoy, 18+

S i x t y - f i v e

He could never grasp just how selfless she was, how much she put everyone else above herself, no matter how sinful they seemed to be. Her heart was gentle, so soft that it constantly melted at the caring of people around her.

That always seemed to be her price to pay, everyone in this world, everyone in her life using her for it.

''I've done things before I took you here before you disappeared after you were gone, and now...'' It was hurtful, admitting to himself what he was — what he'd done to other souls in the protection of hers.

''...and now I've done worse.''

It hurt, confessing to what he was about to, ''Something happened to Theodore and I couldn't—'' Aching pain sored through him, ''—and I couldn't do anything. It was the first time I've ever felt so helpless. I was just lying there, while he...''

Malfoy couldn't tell her about this without her mind being present. He didn't know what it could do to her in her sleep.

It was so quiet in the mansion. Not even the birds that would start chirping at the morning rise did so anymore. Everything was carried in devastation.

''I don't know why—'' Draco swallowed, gently pulling his touch on her arm away as he tucked his hand underneath his pillow, ''—I don't know why I turned out this way. Why I became this horrible person but I did. In the beginning, I was forced into it. You know how my father gets, and you know how your father was...''

It struck him again as his insides coiled in pain. He had killed her father, even if he didn't regret it now — even if he truly believed that he did the right thing, robbing her father of his pathetic excuse of a life, it still hurt because she loved him all the same.

She was mad, she didn't look at him in the way she used to for days after she found out, but she let it go — she let her own suffering slide to save Draco from his.

It was always him to her.

''But after a while,'' He huffed to himself, closing his eyes, and he focused on her breathing, ''After a while, I faded into what everyone expected me to be. I turned colorless in a world full of shades, and I just...''

He sighed, reaching for her hand.

''I just let myself cave. I became the monster I was meant to be, and I did all of the things no one thought I'd do, only because I didn't have anything or anyone.''

His fingers tangled with hers, and he carefully traced them up to his lips.

''No one saved me until you did,''

He kissed her knuckles.

''You saved me when I was meant to take everything away from you, and it made it all so clear that I don't have to be what everyone else expects of me because you're not. You had the same fate as I did. The same father, the same childhood and still...''

Even if he knew the words to speak it, to explain her strength out loud — he couldn't because when it came down to it, every word failed to compare to her.

''And still, you are you...'' His breaths fanned the spine of her hand, ''My Amelie.''

He let her arms rest across her chest again, and he propped himself up on his elbow, gazing over her angelic self.

''I don't know why I'm telling you all of this, but it's just...'' He mumbled, leaning closer as he kissed her head, ''It's just you.''

Draco didn't speak another word. He laid down on his back again, dragging the silk over his exposed chest, and he fell asleep to the sound of her breathing. It was the most soothing thing to him, knowing that she was still alive.