Dire (18+)

II. A ray of fucking sunshine

♪ Know It all - Alessia Cara ♪

I looked around my apartment in contentment. I had all my belongings in a two piece luggage set and two duffel bags. I didn't have a lot to pack so it took a relatively short amount of time which I'm grateful for because I hated moving. Having to go upstairs and downstairs and back up and down with heavy boxes is just not it. Most of the valuables I had, I had to sell or pawn to make rent so that lightened the load a lot. It had been two days since I had spoken to Marco at the diner. He had told me to get all my belongings packed and ready to go by today. It was all pretty sudden and I still had to figure out how I'm going to get to work from the Vicente Mansion.

Ugh. I just needed a break from everything. I can't remember the last time I slept, like really slept, so peacefully and didn't have to worry about waking up to a world of problems. I wish I had that.

I fell onto the couch in front of the TV and scrolled through the channels finally deciding on The Flash. I didn't like it, but I was bored out of my mind and just needed to get my mind off everything.

Laying down on the couch, the sound of the TV faded into the background as I let my eyes fall and mind drift.

"Jesucristo, Valencia!" The short brown woman paced around the living room. Her hair was wild and constantly moving to her face as she shook her head in disbelief. "I can't believe this, why wouldn't you tell us about it, you had to go kill it, Valencia."

It was the same old story. Her mamá had become stressed, her stress response was dis-regulated, she was spiralling. Her father's buffering ability was overrun, and now he was triggered too.

Her parents had been screaming and yelling at her for the past hour. Screaming and yelling at the victim. 'How dare they' she thought, they didn't even bother listening to her or understanding why she did what she did. They just yelled. An ironic display of strength because we all realise that loss of control is weakness and yelling is the auditory version of tears.

She sat quietly not even bothered to tune into what they were saying anymore, she just stared straight ahead observing the visible air particles in her line of vision.

"What was I supposed to do? Keep it?" Her voice was barely above a whisper. Both her parents turned to her. Her mother looked at her with absolute fury, her nose flared and Valencia was scared she might soon gain the ability to breathe fire. While her father looked at her from the chair he was sitting on with sadness and disappointment.

"I didn't ask for any of this. I didn't get taken advantage of, I didn't ask to get pregnant. I didn't ask to lack the ability to take care of myself and the baby," she continued with a single tear running down her face. "it isn't an action I would take if the alternatives didn't scare me more. It is only healthful to bring a child into a world where it can receive the Love it needs."

"If you had listened to your father, when he told you not to go to that party this would not have happened. You have no one to blame but yourself."

She stood up and stomped towards her parents, her mother specifically "And why the fuck would I do that? Blame myself? I blame the person who did this to me, the person who took advantage of my drunken state and couldn't take no for an answer. I blame whoever raised him and I blame YOU!" She got in her mother's face and pointed at her. "You are my parents por Dios, and I'm so fucking tired of hearing you blame me for this. You aren't making it any better, you are making my situation so much worse instead of helping me through this. I already have to deal with the lasting trauma of what happened to me, and I have to deal with the regret of what I just did. But now I also have to carry the blame for the person who violated me!"