My lion, My llama (:Phan:)

Four

Phil POV

I wake up on the street. Did i really sleep here so don't have to deal with PJ's, or Dans bullshit? Where were you Phil? you left in the middle of dinner? why did you leave?

How the hell would i try to explain this to Dan without telling him I'm dating Chris, he doesn't even know I'm gay. My butt hurts from sitting on the concrete for so long. my eyes hurt from crying. My body hurts too.

I press the button on the lift, like i said pressing buttons is fun! What the hell am i gonna tell Dan, I mean he wont be mad will he? i had to go see Chris in the hospital it was important. An emergency. *Bing* A feeling of nervousness overwhelms me. Walking slowly to our door. through the slim hallway.

My hands on the cold door knob, squeezing it with my fingers and twisting. I shut the door behind me, And i hear a crash. Almost as if someone fell off the couch and stood up. I hear Dans foot steps running over. "Phil!?" He screams, looking over the steps at my face in confusion and intense happiness.

"Sorry, i had a..." What do i say?!?!? I'm panicking i need to calm the f down. "i had a problem" i Walk up the carpet floor, avoiding eye contact at all cost. I'm home! home sweet home. "Phil are you OK?" Dan asks me reminding e why I've been sad for so long. I shed a tear But hide it by looking down when i talk in my slightly croaky voice. "Yea I'm fine i just, need some rest" i assure him.

"Are you sure you don't need anything?" Dan asks as i walk to my bedroom. "I'm fine Dan" i run up the stairs ready to fall apart in my own bedroom... not the concrete outside our apartment.
As soon as i walk in my comforting bedroom, i start singing the song again.

Slow the clock that's ticking out.I feel that time is running out. And all that's left to do is let it wind down

I break apart. Sitting on my bedroom floor behind my bed. Where has my love gone?

Where do i even start.

The song continues in my head as i lay on my floor with my hands, arms, and face covered in tears.

To pick it up when its falling apart?

I hear dans footsteps coming through my door.

"Phil? Are you okay?'

I dont answer, i dont care if he sees me like this anymore. i used to not like when people see me break down, but i need this. i need to let my feelings out even if its in front of one of my best friends. well my BEST friend...

Dans arms comfort me. He picks me up, carrying me to my bed and covers me in my duvet.

"Get some rest phil, please"

He stands infront of me waiting for an answer.

"yes" I sniffle loudly

Dan then Puts his hand on my shoulder. and walks out of the bedroom. I drift off into sleep.

-o-

"Phil?" Dan wakes me.

"oh im sorry, ill come back later i thought youd be awake by now."

"No," my voice i gross. Croaky. "i should wake up"

"No, no no no no. if you want to sleep its ok"

Dan is being oddly really nice to me. hes never seen me like this. I feel like an asshole cause i left in the middle of the night without a word and cameback the next morning and dident even say anything. i just went to my room and cried. Well, i guess thats the side of dan thats somehow evenmore caring for others.

"No its fine. I need to eat something anyway." I answer him, looking at the ground as i get off the bed.

"ok, What would you like, i can make it for you?"

"im feeling pancakes" Dan always got my mood up.when i was angry, sad, envious. but he was never this nice. maybe because its the first time heever saw me bawl my eyes out of my skull.

"Ok, Go sit on the couch. i have some anime on."

-o-

"Thanks for the pancakes dan, i really needed it" i giggle, slightly happier because im with another person.

"No problem, and can i ask you something Phil?"

My cheeks go red like they always do. what was he going to ask?

"sure" i answer unsurely

"What happend? why did you leave me in the middle of the night without telling me what was wrong."

I look down as i put down the fork. the last bite still in my mouth but i continue to chew as i think of what to say.

"umm, something happend to Chrsis um... Hes been sick"

A tear ran down my face. i try to hide it but i fail by dan wiping it away for me. raising my chin so im looking in his deep brown eyes.

"Chris is in the hospital, getting antibyotics. He has cancer dan."

I break away from eyes contact. i dont break down cuz i know i cant. not now.

Dans face is shocked but sad. a tear runs down his face.

A/N
Im sorry for the short chapter :/ im quite sick at the moment and kinda hard to concentrate so im gonna stop the chapter here. i almost have 20 reads!? Thanks you so much
XOXO