Freed

35

"Ice skating," I replied quietly. "It's been months." The last time I'd gone was with Ethan and that felt like a century ago.

"So, go."

I stared at her wordlessly, unsure if heard her correctly.

"Right now?" I asked.

Mariam smiled and nodded. "I think this is enough for today. I don't usually give homework, but I want you to do this tonight. You can take your friend Mia with you if you'd like, but that's all. No one else. Go ice skate. Go focus and spend time with yourself and do what you miss. Everything else can wait."

I studied her for one more moment, until I realized she was being completely serious. Mariam stayed silent as I slowly nodded and began to stand up, grabbing my car keys and phone which sat on the table in front of me. I said goodbye to her, told her I'd be back for our next one, and left.

***

The ice glittered like a sea of diamonds in front of me, light reflecting off of the smooth white surface. The arena was empty, aside from the employees who were outside the glass doors. I pulled my sleeves down further to cover my hands as a faint shiver danced down my spine from the cold nipping at my skin.

I glanced down at my skates, checking to see whether the laces were tied tight enough so I wouldn't fall. It had been so long, I was afraid I'd trip as soon as I stepped onto the ice.

Taking a long breath, I grabbed onto the ledge and placed one skate on the slippery, shining surface, my heart rate skyrocketing as my skate skidded a little from underneath me. I hesitated a moment before I placed my other skate onto the ice, holding onto the ledge until I was sure I had my balance.

I didn't allow myself a moment to doubt myself before I began.

The steel-bladed skates helped me slide quickly and moving came naturally to me as I propelled myself away from the wall. I felt like I was free falling as I let myself glide over the ice, my face stinging from the bitter cold of the arena. I didn't spin or do any moves. I didn't go extremely fast because it wasn't meant to be draining or anything but exhilarating and relaxing. I went in circles; again and again, until my legs ached and my feet throbbed from how tight the skates were. Until I carved lines at every point of the hard surface of the rink; the imprints in the glittering ice serving as a reminder that I'd pushed myself to my limits, and I could still keep going.

I didn't pay attention to time. I only stopped when I was sure my heart was about to jump out of my chest from how hard it was beating. I felt my pulse hammering at the base of my throat as I decided I could stop now.

I glided to the edge of the rink, letting my skates slow to a sudden stop until they were standing parallel to each other. I stepped off the ice my blades had carved lines into, my nerves tingling from adrenaline. Everything was oddly quiet in a way as I untied my laces and threw off the skates, grabbing them with one hand while I slipped my feet back into the shoes I'd worn from home.

I grabbed the rest of my things, lost in my own mind, as I slowly walked out of the place after dropping the skates off at the counter. I was treading back over to my car, my eyes downcast, when I heard someone call my name from behind me.

I jumped a mile high and whipped around, my eyes scanning my surroundings until I saw the woman who'd called my name.

Elise stood a few feet away, dressed in casual clothes so I immediately knew she wasn't working. Her car keys hung limply in her hand as she watched me. I didn't fail to notice how her face looked sunken in and she had dark circles under her eyes as if she hadn't gotten a minute of sleep in the last few days. Her light brown hair was tied up into a messy bun, and her cheekbones were more prominent as if she'd lost so much weight, everything was starting to stick out.