Freed

35

"Did you hear anything I said?" She asked softly and I swallowed hard, shifting on the couch.

"No, sorry."

She studied me intently for another second before she spoke. "What are you thinking about?"

I went quiet at her question, my fingers fiddling with the hem of my hoodie. I hadn't bothered getting ready today because I'd been too exhausted. "I'm..." I trailed off, my voice breaking. "I don't know." My mind felt too hazy and clouded for me to understand my thoughts. They jumped from one topic to another; from one person to another. I took a long breath and spoke. "Actually, I know."

Mariam waited patiently, her brown eyes still on me.

I shifted my gaze downcast. "I'm thinking about how when he was... arrested, they, uh," I stopped, gulping past the lump lodged in my throat. "They used a lot of force. So, I just can't stop thinking about if he's in pain or not because he was already injured. Or if he's scared." My voice cracked. "Elijah doesn't get scared, so I know it sounds stupid, but I still can't stop thinking about it."

"You don't think he has a plan up his sleeve?"

My head whipped up to meet her gaze. She saw the silent confusion in my eyes as I stared at her, my heart pounding.

Mariam cocked an eyebrow. "He's Elijah Kingston. I don't know much about your brother, but if there's anything I do know, it's that he always has a plan up his sleeve," she said calmly. "So, I'm wondering; do you honestly think he'd be fine with spending the rest of his life in prison? Don't you think that there's the possibility that this is a part of something bigger for him?"

My mind wouldn't process what she was saying. I knew it had some truth to it, but I just didn't know. I went slack as I stared at her.

"I don't know..." I trailed off quietly, my hands falling limp in my lap.

Mariam remained unfazed. "I know you're afraid. I can see it myself, so I'm offering you a little hope. Until the trial arrives, you don't know what's going to happen. He could come home any day on bail, so don't think that you won't see him again because you can't be sure."

I blinked. "Wouldn't he be home by now? If he was being let out on bail?"

Mariam shrugged, crossing one of her legs over the other as she leaned back in her seat. "Who knows? What if he comes home today?" She said and I straightened. I couldn't help it. I let the flicker of hope rise to the surface at what she said. She must have noticed the way I became more aware because she spoke again. "Contrary to popular belief, I don't think holding out a little hope will destroy you. I think the alternative is so much worse. You lose your hope and you have nothing left. No purpose to go on, no reason to stay, so keep it. You'll see him again. I doubt he would give up this easily."

Elijah had told me himself that they'd let him out before his trial. And that was Kaiden was working on, wasn't it? Figuring out a way to get him out of jail, whether that meant it was done legally or illegally.

"Can I ask you something?" Mariam continued and I nodded faintly, looking back at her. "When's the last time you did something for yourself, and did it alone?"

I went still at her question, letting myself think about what she'd said. I wracked my brain for an answer, but I realized I didn't remember. "I don't know," I replied.

Mariam held my gaze. "Okay. What was something you loved to do, but you haven't done in a long time? Something you could do with your eyes closed because it comes that easy for you."

She let me take a minute to think, but the answer crept into my mind in the blink of an eye. It was the first thing that rose to the surface because it would always be something I loved. Ever since my mom had put me into lessons when I'd been younger, and then I'd joined a team.