Skin 2 Skin (Completed)

16.

She was going off and honestly it was making me feel a slight bitbetter but yesterday was still running through my mind and I couldn't believe that everything that went down, actually went down.

Including Giovanni's lies.

Of all people, I'd expected him to have my back but in that moment and for the past seven years, he didn't.

When it came to his mom anyway.

"I knew I wasn't crazy, Madi."

"You don't just hear a bitch call you dark wrong. How does that even sound?" She ranted and I shrugged my shoulders just as confused as her.

I was mad that I'd even believed otherwise.

"Bitch, talking about dark.." She went on.

"Was the dick dark when you was fucking one and popped out six kids?" She snapped, instantly making me burst into laughter.

"Oh my god. Stop." I shook my head with a smile as I focused on my face, trying to get my eyelash on.

"No, seriously."

"That bitch is crazy and quite frankly I feel like I need to beat her ass too just like your mama did."

"Bitch, I'm dark-skin too so I'm offended."

"Her ass was talking about me too." She spat and I smiled, finally getting my other eyelash on, stepping back to make sure they looked okay.

"Bitch can catch these demon hands, fuck is she talking about." She went on, mocking Gi's moms words now, considering she'd called me a demon because I was dark-skin.

"Delusional." I couldn't help but to say as I finished up in the mirror and picked up my phone so she could see my face.

"Okay." She trailed off, looking at the make-up I'd done for the day.

"You look good, bitch." She piped me up but honestly that wasn't working for me right now.

My self esteem was shot right about now so I said nothing, I simply smiled into the camera.

"You like?" I asked and she nodded, stuffing her breakfast food into her mouth.

"Yes, bitch. I love."

"But you got something white on your cheeks." She went on telling me, wiping her cheek to show me exactly where she was talking about.

"Oh." I looked at what she was talking about in the mirror.

"Oh no, that's just this new concealer I'm trying." I lied to her, waving it off.

"It'll be fine." Was all I said and luckily she nodded, dismissing it all together.

"But okay, I'm about to be on my way there." 

"I'll see you in a minute." I told her as she looked into the camera again.

"Okay, boo."

"Wait. Is Giovanni still driving you?" She asked and I shook my head.

"No."

"My dad's driving me." I told her, considering Gi had left this morning when I was sleeping and I hadn't heard from him at all since last night.

No text or call so I wasn't counting on him anymore.

As if I could ever.

Plus I didn't want to be around him right now anyway so I was fine with it. He could do whatever he wanted and I would do me.

Brushing my annoyed thoughts to the back of my mind, we told each other we'd see each other in a few moments before hanging up completely.

"You ready, babygirl?" My dad the. called out as I still stood in the mirror looking at myself.

"Yeah." I called back before fixing my lashes again and then my hair, making sure that it was okay.

Afterwards, I stared at myself a while longer, harshly criticizing myself in my mind, not intentionally, but the thoughts kept infiltrating.

You're too dark. Gi's mother's words ran through my mind.

Nobody could ever love you with this skin. I went on thinking to myself.

Gi deserves someone who can bring brightness into his life. I'm darkness.

Snapping out of it, I looked at myself, seeing that I now had tears in my eyes.

"What the hell." I rolled my eyes, bending down to grab something so I could dab my face before my makeup was ruined.

As I did, I opened the bathroom's cabinet, seeing tissues and the cream I'd just used before putting on my makeup.

Grabbing both now, I dabbed my face with the tissue before I disposed of it and looked down at the cream. I knew this cream and what I was doing wasn't okay but now, in this moment, I felt like I needed it.

I wasted no time opening the cream and reading over the instructions again for the hundredth time, making sure that it was okay to put on my body, considering I'd only tried it on my face.

Skin bleaching cream: For too dark skin (body and face). Toxic. Do not get into eyes. It read.

"Okay, good." I said to myself.

After finding that it was okay, I opened it and began rubbing it onto my arms and then some on my legs.

I'd never thought I would use this but after my speculations of Gi's mom calling me dark, I bought this just because I'd become self conscious.

Whether what I heard was true or not but now that I knew it was, I needed relief.

And this was it.

*

Thoughts?

Concerns?