𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙽 - 𝙱. 𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙴𝚂

Chapter 21

(warning: heavy topics)

The Wounded Soldier

Bucky turned the tap and let the warm water rain down from the shower. He pulled off his boxers then stepped into the stream facing the showerhead. The water trickled down his body and he took a deep breath in and out. Showers were something Bucky was always grateful for. The privacy was a luxury he hadn't had in Hydra, where they'd hose him down with steaming water like a dog if he was covered in blood, sweat or dirt. When he was given this housing from the government he was relieved to find a shower better than he'd ever seen before. It was the little things for him like showers, walks, and choosing his own clothes that helped him get back to a normal way of life.

As Bucky washed the shampoo from his hair he heard the washroom door open and close. He looked through the curtain and saw Lois's blurry figure. She pulled off the blue henley and dropped it to the ground. He heard her tinker with something then soft guitar music started playing quietly but loud enough for them to hear. He liked the sound.

The curtain moved slightly and Lois stepped behind Bucky into the tub. She looked at his back as the muscles on his shoulders and arms tightened. She'd never seen his bareback with all its healed battle scars.

Lois stepped closer and leaned her head between his shoulder blades.

Bucky looked down as he saw her hands wrap around him and warm themselves in the water that he was blocking her from. Her nails were painted his favourite light blue.

"Hi there." He mumbled.

"Hi." She placed her wet hands flat on his stomach. "So... were you just gonna let me sleep all day?"

"Well, I was going to ask you if you wanted to join me in here but I thought you might need more sleep. Guess not."

Lois's hand crept back from his sides to his back. Her fingers touched over a scar on his lower back and a bullet wound through his shoulder. Her fingers grazed over the recent red marks on his back courtesy of herself.

"How long did I sleep for?"

"A few hours. It's eight o'clock." Bucky turned around and faced her. The water bounced off the vibranium arm and made little tapping noises.

"Did you sleep any?"

"Not really." He pulled her closer into the water.

"Why not?"

"I couldn't." Bucky didn't want to embarrass himself by telling her he was just too excited that she was sleeping beside him. 

"Do you still have nightmares like you used to?"

"Not as often since I..." He sighed and shrugged, "Made amends."

"Amends?" Lois reached past him and grabbed the shampoo bottle.

"I was ordered mandatory therapy since the government pardoned me. My therapist got me to write down a list of names of people I hurt and wanted to make amends to."

She scrubbed the shampoo through her hair and looked at him. "Even though..."

"Even though I had no control." He finished, knowing where she was headed. "I'm still stuck with all the memories."