𝚂𝙴𝚅𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙴𝙴𝙽 - 𝙱. 𝙱𝙰𝚁𝙽𝙴𝚂

Chapter 19

The Amends

She, with those dark eyes and that kind smile, spoke softly but loud enough for only him to hear.

"Goodbye, Bucky."

Cars sped through the intersection and a few large vehicles drove past, dividing them. Bucky looked back at the place where Lois was standing but she was already gone.

The memory of Lois disappearing before his eyes haunted Bucky's dreams lately. When the nightmares stopped coming as often, she would replace them. Sometimes Steve would be standing with her, his sister too. Then they would be gone and Bucky would be alone standing on that sidewalk.

It didn't matter that Steve found him in Bucharest less than an hour later. She had left a scar on his heart because he never really understood why she left him when they could've fought. Together.

Now, standing in front of her, Bucky didn't know what to say. He never thought he'd actually see her again (in anywhere but his dreams.) He never tried to look for her or even search her name. He hoped that in the seven-year gap, Lois went back to England and settled down with someone who treated her the way she deserved and gave her the things Bucky never could.

Bucky slowly lifted his arm to flick on the dim kitchen light.

Lois's hair was cut shorter. Her face still looked the same, aged only slightly around her eyes which squinted in the light.

"I didn't mean to wake you so early." Her voice whispered.

He had so many questions, and he needed to focus in order to even let one loose from his mouth.

"When did you get here?" He asked slowly like if he spoke too fast she'd get scared and run away.

"A few hours ago? The window was open." She pulled at the shirt, "I took a nap on your bed. I hoped you wouldn't mind."

Without pulling his eyes off her, he reached down and tried to fix the pile of books he knocked over. "What are you doing here?"

"I told you I wanted to see America, so I guess I'm here." She shrugged, a shy smile danced across her lips.

Bucky felt like that was a lie but he wasn't certain. There had to be more.
"I thought I'd never see you again."

Lois sighed. "Seven years?"

"I got blipped." Bucky finally found the courage to take a step into the kitchen, closer to her.

She took a step closer to him in return. "Me too."

Bucky thought back to the day she left him, what she said all those years ago.

It's him or me.

"Ya know, when I saw a newspaper with my face on it and went back to the apartment to find Steve, I figured out you were talking about him the whole time. You knew that he was coming."

Lois nodded and looked away, refusing to look at him in the eyes.

"It would've all gone down a lot different if you stayed." Bucky thought out loud. Something inside him had always felt bitter about what happened and a deep scowl formed on his face.

"You look good, Bucky." Lois changed the topic. Her eyes trailed from his hair to his black and gold vibrainum arm. "I'm happy everything worked out for you."

Bucky's sensitive mood turned completely sour. He glared at her and closed the gap between them a little more. He reached for the coffee she made and took it before stepping back again. "Worked out?"