Morose ✔️

14

I don't know how long I stayed like that, but I knew I heard the opening riff to Jeremy a couple of times as my phone rang, and I noticed the light outside disappeared. Soon enough I was carried from the floor to the couch, eyes dried out, yet I was still crying, barely breathing, as everything hurt.

It was my fault.

I had no idea who was in my home. For all I knew it could have been criminals robbing me of everything I had without me seeing shit— I was too tired, too numb, to care. I heard voices around me, dark, seductive ones, lighter, less serious ones, and as the time went on they all turned frustrated until a shadow sat down in front of me, blocking the view of whatever oxygen molecule I was staring at.

I looked down when there was movement by the person's lap, the sound of papers being flicked through, and I swallowed. It was the documents I got in the mail, and I ripped them from whoever sat there and crumpled them in my fed up fist. I closed my eyes, letting a couple of new tears run down my cheek as I fought not to start crying again, while the muffled voices around me kept talking.

A warm hand touched my knee, another on my shoulder, and as much as I tried to move back into consciousness, I couldn't. My throat was dry, my tongue too big for my mouth, and no matter how much I tried to speak— to say I was okay— I couldn't.

I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in my black hole of misery. I'd lost my grip on whatever it was that I was holding on to to pull myself out of it.

-

My head was throbbing when I woke up. I was in my bed, under the covers, with a heavy arm over my stomach. I sat up carefully, looking to my left to see Helix laying on top of the blankets, fully clothed, sleeping. It was dark out, the only reason I could see him was because of the light on my bedside table being turned on. Snoring could be heard through the open bedroom door, and I knew we weren't alone.

I carefully pushed his arm off and got up, my knees wobbly and weak, as I made my way to the kitchen to get a glass of water. On my way there I spotted Jesse laying on the couch, his arm hanging down towards the floor, and his jacket over him like a blanket.

The papers had been cleaned up and laid in a neat pile on the coffee table, the crumples from my careless handling of them were almost impossible to see as I—

My stomach growled at me as I caught the unmistakable scent of pizza. On the kitchen island sat a cardboard box, and I greedily opened it, hoping they'd left me a piece or two, only to feel really disappointed when it turned out to be empty. I grimaced and glanced at the clock above the fridge. No way was there going to be any placed open at that hour, and no way could I make something without waking them both. I'd just have to wait.

Silently, I took down a glass and turned on the faucet, waiting for the water to become cold enough to drink. The snoring stopped and was replaced with a groan, and the hushed words, "Fuck, dude, you're gonna wake her."

I stopped the faucet after filling my glass, took a few sips, before I said, "Sorry, I was thirsty."

Jesse sat up immediately, staring directly at me with wide eyes. I choked a laugh as I gulped down the contents of the glass.

"You feeling OK?" he asked once I'd put the glass down, and when I didn't reply he added, "I saw the documents, holy shit, I didn't understand a word except the obvious, so I can't imagine how badly that probably ripped up stuff for you."

I swallowed. "Did you tell...?" I couldn't even say his name, in fear of him waking up and demanding I'd tell him what happened, so I just nodded towards my bedroom door.