one of us has to die at the end

part 15

Kais pov:
Angst. Is that what i'd call this. I think so. I've been pacing. I'm so nervous about my situation with y/n, half because if afraid she'll report me to the police out of guilt and half because i think i've lost her and i haven't quite come to terms with that. If she could just see my vision. See the world the way i see it. We could be something amazing. King and queen of the hive. Of the world. She just doesn't see what i see. She's so corrupted by societies values that she can't think for herself. It's deep in everyone even if we've been programmed this way. Why does this have to be so fucking hard.
I spotted y/n across the road at the coffee shop where she works off duty. Talking to a guy. Some sleazy smug idiotic guy. She laughed and slid over a napkin to him. My fists balled up in anger and i could feel my rage bubbling up. Startled her eyes widened as she spotted me almost making eye contact with me. She anxiously tried to ignore me darting between me the guy and the table. What are you playing at sweetheart? Y/n you silly silly girl.
Y/ns pov:
Fuck! I spotted kai leaning against a lamppost across the road with a look of pure rage, his fists balled in anger. He shook his head in disapproval and disappointment. 'Right I'm gonna take off now.' The guy announced snapping me out of my own thoughts. He stretched as he gathered his stuff. God please don't leave me alone i thought to myself. 'Okay text me you have my number.' I said with a nervous giggle. 'See you.' he smiled and said. Kai saw him leave and started making his way towards the shop. My nerves increased as i started shaking. I rushed behind the counter putting an apron on even though it wasn't my shift and got busy cleaning random machines i'd never bothered to touch before. Furiously i scrubbed the espresso machine making sure to touch every inch desperately trying to distract myself when i heard the bell ring followed by footsteps. 'Hey y/n.' 'What would you like to order?' i said trying to avoid eye contact and maintain distance. 'Y/n look at me.' I glanced around hopelessly and made eye contact. 'What do you want?' i said annoyed sighing. 'We need to talk we're not leaving things like this.' 'Kai, no. Fucking insane.' i replied squeezing my eyes shut. After prolonged silence and being stared at i started scrubbing the counter when a hand grabbed my arm and turned me towards him grabbing the other, forcing me to lean forward over the counter uncomfortably close. 'It's me y/n. You fell for me for a reason, Won't you at least hear me out?' 'Yeah i will. Go.' 'Not here?' he said panicked. 'Fine. We can meet at the park at 6. You're not coming into my house. You don't touch me. You don't sit near me. We don't sit in an isolated area.' 'But- Fine.' he said and walked out. 'You're sick Kai. You're going to have to come up with a pretty great crock full of shit to defend this. I don't see how you could. I just want to get this over with. I wish i never met you.' I called after him stopping him in his tracks. His mouth hung slightly agape as he tried to conceal his hurt expression. He tilted his head and shook himself out of it leaving. I released a breath i didn't know i was holding. I verb nearly almost felt remorse or empathy but i meant what i said. This is just too messed up. He doesn't deserve it. Fuckkk. I wonder what amazing explanation he's going to come up with for this. Come to think of i can't live with this guilt for much longer. I need to start thinking about what i'm going to do. I cannot live like this. With this knowledge.