A Jeff the Killer Story -

Chapter 1 - Ashes and Gold

Night fell fast among the city, and I was already far, far away. The sound of the ambulance from the distance filled my ears, i smile stretched across my face. Of course, i was always smiling now though. I never felt more powerful and in control before, this was my moment, the happiest moment of my life. Maybe this is all that mattered, this is all I was ever meant to be. I could feel a pain in my chest, but I liked it. I wasn't rushing to relief like I often did. I placed a hand on my ribcage and simply enjoyed the moment, taking a deep breath and falling into a hysterical laugh, different than ever before.

A few hours have passed, I found a small, dark hiding spot in the woods. The smile on my face started to feel funny, I started moving my mouth around, trying to comfort the feeling on my face. I laid back, leaning behind a tree, it was a bit soggy, so i felt myself sink into the dirt little. As my legs bent into a sitting position, I felt a few cigarettes in the pocket of my jeans. As i lit them, a memory from a few weeks ago entered my mind. It was right after I broke those teenagers wrists, it was such a confusing moment for me, it felt so alien, but so right. I remember smoking with my brother after it happened. He started laughing about it, and I felt relief. I didn't know if I could laugh about it, so i held in my joy for a while.
"Maybe you really are a real man, Jeff," it was the first time he called me Jeff in a while. It felt good, even enhanced the pleasure of looking back at my moment of grace, my first moment of pure glory and relief. It was like everything bad that ever happened to me all made sense; it was all for me to take my anger out on those men. Boys. They were boys compared to me. God, I felt so powerful.

I lifter my head up and let the cigarette smoke dance up into the sky. I always liked how it just floated around. I felt like my ribs were about to crack, but i felt fantastic. I didn't want to let it ruin my moment. Who would have thought I could ever come to this? I wish the whole world could see me. The dirt was my throne, and the smoke, my crown.