The Hijinks War

44. Friends Don't Let Friends Practice Self-Pity

"So, what was Hijinks all about?" Curse you, inner Nicole!

"Freshman year, Katia and I were our grade reps on student council, but we couldn't agree on anything. Everything was a full blown fight, so we started it as a way to decide who took point on each issue."

"I know that part, Kels."

"Oh. Katia and I, we... well I'm stupid, and she hates me."

"You're not stupid."

He tilted his head in disagreement with what I'd said.

"Okay, so you did a stupid thing, and she hates you? You guys have both done a lot of stupid things to each other―and all of us."

"Thanks, Babe, but it's not the same. I was terrible to her." He paused, picking at his pants before elaborating, "My dad cheated..."

"I know that part, too."

He chuckled but it held no humor. "Everyone knows my fucking life."

"I didn't mean it that way, Kels."

"I know, Cole. Dad cheated. I didn't find out till Katia and I were 11 and her mom was sick. My mom knew the whole time. Katia knew the whole time. My mom said Katia's mom was suddenly "sick" because they wanted more money than Dad already gave them. But, Dad used to spend time with her every week, even before I knew she existed. He never paid anyone off. He could never be like that..."

A faint smile lit his face. "I was excited to have a sister, at first; I'd always wanted a sibling. I was just mad because I was the only one who hadn't known. I should have been nicer to her, considering her mom had just died. I wanted to be... but I was annoyed that she was sad all the time and didn't want to do fun stuff. Then I was mad that she was always around, even when Dad and I were doing our things. And then it felt like Dad was doing more stuff with her, and all I could think of then was that she was stealing my dad away from me."

"Kellen!" my heart broke for him and how hard that feeling must have been―then and now. He mistook my tone for a reprimand.

"Yeah, I know I could've been a better brother. You know what the worst part was? My mom. She was always ranting about why my father let that "urchin" come live with us. Why she had to put up with "that little Mexican orphan" or Dad's "pet project". She called Katia the maid's daughter every chance she got―still does―and wouldn't talk to her directly at all―still doesn't―and I never said anything about it―never have." 

He was crying. I was pretty sure of it, and I didn't really know what to do. Well, this is quite the way to get my mind off of Jess! I gave him a moment to swipe at his face before turning to him.

"Kels, Babe!" I said the word without even thinking, as if I were talking to Jess. "This is not on you! My God! You're the kid! A big fucking man-kid, but you're the kid. Your mom... sorry, but she's a bitch! She should know better. The adults around her should know better. I mean, you coulda shoulda said something, but you were a kid going against your mother.

"You were hurting, too. Definitely not as much as Katia was, but you were still hurting! I mean, what you're describing―jealousy and annoyance―is what every sibling on the face of the Earth feels. It's just that most siblings don't turn that into a huge prank battle that takes over an entire school. It's usually more small-scale than that."

He chuckled at my attempt to lighten the mood, and then sighed, "She thinks I hate her and that I agree with my mother."

"No she doesn't."

"Yeah, Cole, she does. She's said it a ton of times. I don't want us to be this way. I want to be able to hang out with her, watch a movie, eat dinner together. I dunno, whatever siblings do."

"You just described a date, Kellen," I teased, and he shoved me with his shoulder.

"Stop trying to make me laugh! Can't I just be self pitying for a minute?"

"Nope. You've gotta be perfect robot-Kellen all the time."

"I hate that guy..."

"Me too." I agreed and he looked at me in surprise. Grinning, I poked his chin where there was the scruff of a more than five'o'clock shadow. "If you hate him, get rid of him. It's not too late for you to be a better brother, Kels. If you ever have questions on how to do it, you have Jackson, Jess and me to ask." 

He crushed me into a hug. "Thanks, Cole. I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Urhm..." My mind blanked, my breath stopping momentarily at his words. The situation had taken a strange turn. "talk to Jackson?"

He released his hold on me, his face mirroring my discomfort. "Sorry." His robot-Kellen mask fell back into place. "Jackson, talking about feelings?"

Even his laugh was back to the fake one he laughed in front of everyone. It was a defense mechanism, I realized. He'd been pretending to be robot-Kellen so long, he didn't know how to be himself around people. Not really. I frowned and poked his face again. "Drop the robot act, Kels. You're embarrassed, so what? That was awkward for me too. We're human, we feel things."

He grimaced and made a big deal of shaking himself out. "See? I don't know how to get rid of that Kellen!"

"Oh don't you worry, Kelly-bean," I said ruffling his hair. "I'll kill robot-Kellen for you." 

Do you like this side of Kellen?

How do you think Nicole plans on killing Robot-Kellen?