When We're Older- The Maze Runner (Newt)

falling

see how quick this one came!

NEWT

The feeling of inevitability is a horrific thing. It's helplessness wrapped up with a ribbon thirty times so you can't unravel the grief. It's knowing that whatever you do, or try to do won't change the fact that there's nothing you can do to save yourself or someone else. I was more helpless than I'd ever been because I couldn't seem to undo that bloody ribbon. I was drowning, holding out a hand that nobody was going to grab.

Inevitability stripped me of every fraction of hope I had left in my miniscule body, to replace it with the want to be back in the arms of Mae. It was a dark shadow looming over my body, projecting voices in my head that triggered thoughts that hadn't even come to my mind in at least a year. Holding the launcher close to my chest as I had been doing since the moment I stepped into this building alone, I followed Tommy and Teresa through the hall, their bickering nothing but a dull echo in my head.

I was walking in slow motion, trying to keep myself from slipping through my own fingers. Instead of holding up the world, I was holding up my own, with nobody's help. That was almost worse.

"Thomas, you have to listen to me. Getting that serum won't save Newt."

Her empty words meant nothing to me as I shook my head, not wanting to believe, but already knowing. I had to keep the little white ribbon of hope that was acting as a shield strong, for if it broke, I would too.

"It might buy him some time, but..."

I rolled my eyes while taking a step forward, harshly grabbing the girl's forearm. "Just ignore her, she's tryna get inside your head..." I don't know whether I was speaking to Tommy or to myself as I used the last bit of sanity that was running out to point my gun to the other side of the hallway although there was nobody there.

"Listen," Teresa was more forceful with her words now. "I know what's going on out there. People are dying. The world is dying."

Yeah, no shit. You're just now realizing this? I asked myself as I glanced over my shoulder for anyone else who could possibly be coming our way.

"There's something about your blood I don't understand." She was practically on her knees, begging as Thomas towered over her, crossing his arms in an attempt to keep himself hidden. All trust he had for this girl was gone from what I could tell. I knew he wanted this to be over, believe me, I did too. I wanted to get as far away from Teresa and from WICKED as possible.

"Open it." Thomas muttered, not even looking at the girl as his voice lowered, partially because of the mask he continued to wear. I was beginning to sweat like a buggin' banshee in mine—not that I knew what that was. All I knew was that it was very very hot, and I was beginning to feel as though I was walking on air, my head being the only thing that weighed a million pounds on my body. The ache was starting to increase, feeling like someone shoved my brain into a large box that was growing smaller by the minute.

Teresa surprisingly obeyed, leaning forward to press her thumb to the small keypad before returning back to her previous position as though that hadn't even happened. "Just let me run some tests..."

Adjusting his mask, Thomas stepped into the lift, ready to be taken up to the medical wing. I followed, and so did Teresa as she continued to try and convince him.

"I promise I can protect you!"

I almost laughed at the sentence. Glaring at her underneath the shield that hid my expressions form the public, I furrowed my eyebrows and pursed my lips to the side, not letting myself believe anything that she was saying. She sounded like a bloody fool, asking for our permission... asking us to trust her after she betrayed us so easily. The whole reason that that nightmare of an evening happened six months ago was her. She didn't have to give us away because she thought that it was the right thing to do.