Hating You From The Beginning

𝟯𝟰 | 𝘄𝗲'𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴

"Five minutes."

I thought- never mind.

I know I'm weak, no need to rub it in.

He seems taken back but quickly recovers. I brush past him and plop myself on the couch. "Four minutes and fifty-one seconds," I say. Yes, I've been county.

"I really am sorry. I was just mad and it kind of came out and for that I'm sorry." He apologizes.

"You had no reason to be mad."

He let out a heavy sigh, "I know." He says growing frustrated.

Don't push it.

"You know, we say we're friends but then I catch you across the room, and you get mad when someone else tries kissing me."

"We talked about this, I care about you but nothing more can happen."

Ouch.

That's kinda hurt.

"Can't or you're too scared to let it happen?"

"Don't do this."

He's right, I need to stop.

"You said nothing could happen and a few days later you kiss me in the dark."

"Kai."

"Every time we talk, kiss, are in the same place at once it hurts so bad because I don't even know what we are."

I need to shut up.

I let out a sigh, "I accept your apology but I can't keep doing this."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying I want to be with someone who wants to be with me too, and not in just a hookup type of way."

"Over my dead body."

Oh my god.

Stop dude.

"I can be with whoever I want."

He walks right in front of me and takes my face in his hands. "I told you, I don't share what's mine. And we both know you've been mine for a while."

"I'm not." I spit out. Then something in me finally breaks and I start spitting out everything I've been holding in. "You made it clear that nothing would happen between us and you know what? I was perfectly fine with it because at the time I didn't have any feelings. But then you were being you. You started being nice, you started being flirty. And to make it worse I got closer to your daughter. And then I stupidly agreed to your offer of friends with benefits knowing very well I'm not that type of person. I've spent the last 19 days telling myself, 'this means nothing, this is just us relieving the sexual tension, but then you do stuff, you say stuff like this! You're hurting me and I'm letting you! I can't take this because as much as I told myself not to, I caught feelings. And I can't do this and you don't make it any easier for me!"

That felt good.

"Kai-"

Now it doesn't feel good.

Damn it damn it damn it. Why couldn't I just keep my stupid mouth shut?!

"Damn it." I whisper. I start walking away but again I don't make it far. I get turned back to face Roman. I lower my gaze avoiding him but he cups my cheek and brings it up to meet him. "I should just go," I tell him trying to get out of his grip but instead he locks our lips.

By instinct, I kiss back. We're both eager but somehow the kiss managed to stay soft and tender. We both break apart and just stare at each other, leaving our heads on one another. "I was wrong." He whispers. I back away from him and this time he lets me. "About?" I ask.

"I don't know that I want, all I know is that I want you. Only you."
The fact that this makes me happy proves that I have issues.

"You don't want this though."

Don't get your hopes up.

"I do."

"What about-"

"Forget all the stupid shit I said. I want you, only you. Forget the promise. I can keep my promise and be with you." Idiot.

Idiot for making me feel all this.

I cant though.

"You're not ready for a relationship."

"I know, but I want to try with you for you." He says, "we'll take things slowly."

"So we're what?"

"We're talking, dating, whatever you want it to be."

My smile falls when I realize something, "the house is empty. This house is never empty everyone practically lives here-"

Kenzie left in a hurry and he walked in.

"Oh, what did you do Grey?" I ask suddenly suspicious.

"I didn't do anything," Hs says innocently. "Liar. I will breakup with you before we even start dating."

He lets out an amused chuckle, "I made sure to tell everyone to inform me when you were alone in the house so you couldn't escape again."

"Pfft, I have not escaped."

I totally have.

"Really? So you didn't blackmail Dean into catching you when you jumped out your window?"

My eyes widen, "that little trader."

supriseee! they're talking! ngl writing kai's outburst made me feel some typa way😫

debate time:
rolani or koman? if you have any better ideas pls share them 💋 kk bye -kisses m

published 5•4•21

word count: 1562