As We Burn

Five.

Crispen moves towards the professor's desk and switches off the lights in the room. After a second of pure darkness, I hear a click and a projector lights a square on the board at the front.

"We are going to go through some historically popular imagery, and I want you to tell me what the image makes you feel, or how the artist has used their medium to portray their emotional message." I watch him as he speaks, the soft light framing only half of his face. The rest is hidden in the dark. His eyes remain focused on the board. It's almost like a game we play - he watches me, I look away. And once I know his eyes are elsewhere, it's my turn to look. I can't help but admire how passionately he speaks about the lesson; he's obviously knowledgeable in what he's teaching.

We go through images I've already seen before as my classmates explain the emotions it makes them feel and try their best to sound like experts. I feel a tap on my leg, and turn to see Ava holding out her phone to me.

"Put your number in," she whispers. I take her phone, smiling slightly as I enter my number. I hand it back to her.

"The only emotion I'm feeling right now is bored out of my mind," she says. I try to hide my smile and whisper back, telling her to send me a text so I have her number.

"I thought I made it clear when I said raise your hand to speak, Mr. Ambrose," Crispen interrupts. His head, like everyone else's, is now completely turned towards me.

"S-sorry." It's so quiet, I can't be sure he heard me. He continues going through the imagery as I sink in humiliation and anger. What a fucking prick. This is university, not elementary school, and he isn't even a real professor. But I guess men get off on ego trips in every stage of life. How does he even know my last name? My thoughts are interrupted by my phone vibrating in my pocket. I take it out and place it in between the pages of my notebook.

Does TA stand for Total Asshole? Cause wanna be prof here is doing a great job at it! Ava texts. My scowl fades back to a small smile.

You have no idea, I text back. She sends a question mark in return.

He's my roomie, I explain.

I watch her read the text and she turns to me with wide eyes. Her fingers tap away quickly at her phone screen, her long nails making small clicking noises.

WTF? That's going to be so awkward later. But I'm here to save you - party tonight at Blaise's place. Down to make some new friends? Her message reads.

My stomach twists in anxiety. I would just embarrass myself further at a party, but it would save the awkward confrontation that's bound to happen with Crispen if I stay home tonight. Plus, there is my commitment to breaking away from the old Parker...

Maybe. I don't have a car. Plus, it's a Monday night? I reply.

I can pick you up from your place around five, and then we can get ready together. Unless TA has to read you a bedtime story? Ava texts. I turn to her and roll my eyes.

Fine, five. I reply. I put my phone back in my pocket with a shaking hand. I'm really testing my anxiety lately, from burning buildings to university parties...but isn't this what I wanted? I spent so many years telling myself that Laurelwood would be the time I finally became the person I wanted to be. The carefree boy who parties with his friends and embraces new opportunities.

Suddenly the lights in the classroom turn back on, and I wince.

"Well, we finished a little early but I won't tell if you guys don't," Crispen says as he turns off the projector. I check the clock, and can't believe it's been almost two hours. I join everyone else in standing up, packing my things while doing my best to keep my face down. I've barely written any notes in my notebook. By the time I manage to peak, Crispen has already left the room.