Battle Survivors |On Hold|

chapter 21

Hazel's POV

"I missed them so much." Ace said as a tear escaped his eyes, I instantly reached for it and wiped beneath his eyes with the pad of my thumb.

"I still can hear my mother yelling at me....to... to run for my life, I was sitting
beside her so weak and fraigle body and my dad's lifeless body....I didn't know what to do.....seeing their blooded  bodies laying infront of me made me.....made me unable to take an action to help them.....my mum's yelling added to my disability which made me take the worst decision that I lived to regret....I shifted.....I shifted and ran away from them...." he stopped for seconds as tears continued to trail down his face.

He looked at me with his teary eyes, "I haven't even stayed to help them." He said with regret in his eyes , I rubbed his shoulder in tend to reassure him.

"You were too young, you don't have to blame yourself." I said still rubbing his shoulder.

He took in a large breath trying to calm himself, wiping underneath his eyes, "you know.... as much as I tried to convince myself that I was young and that was the only thing I could do back then, I still feel regret every time I remember that day." He said looking in front of him.

"You know you can still correct the situation, you can search for your mother maybe you can find her, I think even your try will ease that feeling of yours." I told him.

"That's what I was trying to do the previous three days, and I think I am close to finding her." He said looking at me.

"That's great to hear!" I said with a smile but immediately my smile broke as feeling of wanting to find mine too is  overwhelming.

"You know I wish I could find mine too." I said out of no where.

"What?" Ace asked with confusion.

"I wish I could find my mother too." I said as a sigh escaped my lips.

"Is she missing?" Ace asked paying more attention to me.

"No."

"you said that you hope you can find her she is probably not dead, right?" Ace asked

"No, she isn't." I said and Ace frowned, "I mean she isn't missing nor dead...."

I took a deep breath, "she left us....she left us willingly and my sister...my younger sister left with her willingly too...I don't know what I or dad or even Joshua had done which made them leave us, you know......that even hurts more, knowing that she left willingly, she wasn't forced to do so, she wanted to...."

"The night before my 18th birthday, I woke up on my 18th birthday to a note... a note from my mum saying that she left with Harley... my sister and asked us not to search for them, saying that they will be more happy if we didn't.... as they are going to live a new life in a different country with different circumstances and they don't want us in their new life."

I paused for a second, trying not to cry, when I collected my self I started to talk again.

"I don't know why I still want to find her even if I know that she doesn't want me, neither her nor my sister do......"

I looked at him, "you know that made me grow up feeling that I am not good enough......that I am not worth anyone's love.... knowing that my mum and my sister my own flesh don't want me, so who wants...." I looked away as my eyes started to get watery.

"Don't ever say that again Hazel, you are amazing, kind, selfless, caring and loving, you worth a lot Hazel, don't even doubt that you're worthy...."

He paused and grabbed my face by my chin with his hand to make me look at him.

"you do have a lot of people who love and care for you Hazel, you have me and Joshua, you have your father and April, you have a lot Hazel who you're not aware of.....that your mother left you has nothing to do with you and your personality and have nothing to do with who loves and who doesn't, it has a thing to do with her and her personality, do you understand that Hazel?" I nodded my head as I couldn't talk, I feel so overwhelmed, I feel I'm gonna break anytime soon.