Chapter 6

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"Love is the death of duty."

JON'S POV

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JON'S POV

It has been two nights in a row now that my mind has been occupied with a woman before I go to sleep. I should have been thinking about what her business here in the North is. If what she told me was true or if she was planning to steal the North out from under me. I was sure that was what Sansa wanted me to think about, but it wasn't what I've been consumed with.

I couldn't stop thinking about how her hair shines like fire when she spars in the courtyard with her traveling companion. She didn't look like a Targeryen, but she did look like a dragon when the light hits her hair the right way while she's in the midst of a fight. I've been consumed with the strange feeling of satisfaction when she wore my cloak and dismay when she insisted I take it back. I gave her my cloak to ward off the cold she isn't accustomed to, but I enjoyed knowing no Northern man would dare try to court her as long as my cloak is on her shoulders.

Now she knows what it means to Northerners when a man gives a woman her cloak, she doesn't want to wear it any longer and I can't help but wonder why. It seemed that she is looking for a highborn husband, is she against that being me? What was it her escort said? Something about having a husband that would do anything for her, like her first husband. He could only have been talking about one of two people, Tormund or myself. A Queen wouldn't marry a wilding like Tormund, so they had to have been talking about me.

She sounded opposed to what he was saying, but why? Was she upset he was insisting she court me, or was she upset he brought up the man she loved and lost? I knew it was most likely the latter, but I question if it was the former. Could it be she doesn't want to wear it because she's concerned with what I want or think? Is she worried I am happy in the North and wouldn't want to move south with her?

I have only known Valaena for two days, why is she constantly on the forefront of my mind? Why do I get jealous when I see her with other men and overjoyed when she seeks me out? I have duties to attend to, but every time I see her, I want to shirk them to spend time with her. Yesterday I went down to the crypts in a failed attempt to clear my mind. All I could think about was her and if she was thinking about me too. Part of me hoped she would follow me, but what I heard when I went to find her explained why she didn't.

I wanted to comfort and console her when she passed by. I could tell she didn't want to talk to anyone at the moment, let alone the man she was being pressured into courting. I wanted to go on that ride with her in place of Tormund or her companion, Kovarro. I wanted to be the reason why she came back in higher spirits than when she left.

When I saw them come back with disheveled clothing and her plaited hair looser than normal, I became insufferably envious of the men she was with. If she wanted the Lords and Ladies of Westeros to support her claim as Queen of the Seven Kingdoms, she couldn't marry either of them. She could marry me. She would always have the support of the North, but did I want to become King of the Seven Kingdoms and move to King's Landing to marry her?

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