The Beautiful Tragic Us (Eren x Mikasa)

Chapter 29: Don't

Historia was still shy at me but I didn't mind her actually. I thank the heavens above that they fave her a cute height so I can just look straight and ignore her existence when she's around.

"Mikasa.." Historia tried to open up again to me one time but I declined it. As I've said, I don't want drama anymore.

"Uh excuse me. I have to go to the comfort room. I'm sorry.." I would come up with excuses.

Me who was once an honest angel have now become a liar but of course, I am still nice to those who deserve me and did nothing wrong.

I have decided to make the most out of my day by spending some time alone at the campus every time the practice is done just sitting on the bench for hours and wait for dark because I know when I come home, I'll just be in my room trying to sleep.

"Mom sometimes I feel so jealous of my little sibling because he or she both has you and dad, and I...had nothing left with me." I chuckled as tears fell from my eyes looking at names carved on the grave in front of me.

"I'll be joining another cheerleading competition. I hope you'll watch me. Help me that I won't fall on stunts coz lately, I was really pretty clumsy I even messed up big time." I put my hands to my eyes and slowly sat on the grass smiling and wiping my tears at the grave in front of me.

It was Saturday and I'm glad no one is around here this time. I probably look like a tomato now. Thanks to my snow white skin and raven black long hair.

"I know you like Eren. But I don't think he's coming back. The Eren who wraps the scarf around me is probably somewhere near you." I sighed as I played with the flowers in front of me.

This reminds me of the day Eren was sleeping under the big tree and I am picking flowers to made him a flower crown.

I used to smile at the memory but now all it gives me is pain.

"I miss you so much. I wish I could hug you." I whispered slowly as the wind blew.

"Thought I know where you want to go." I heard the familiar voice at my back and I didn't look back.

Speaking of the devil.

It was Eren.

"What are you doing here?"  I asked calmly.  I had enough. My back is still facing him.

"I'm here to talk to you." He says and I stood up.

"I don't think we still have something to discuss." I touched the grave and started walking away.

I heard footsteps following me and I mentally panicked. He is following me. I walked faster but he did the same. Shit.

"We have a big conversation. It can't go on like this forever." He says as a matter of fact.

I'm so glad you know Eren.

"Good thing you realized that. Congrats." I said my eyes still in front of me not minding him when he held my hand making me turn back to him.

My heart leaped as I thought I was going to fall but he held my body and our faces got closer to each other.

I pushed him away and I fixed myself. This is giving me a hard time once again. Just when I thought I'm on the process of healing and then he comes barging in AGAIN.

I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as I looked down.

"Say everything you want you have 1 minute." I said.

"I love you Mikasa." He says and I gave off a smug look.

"Liar. Continue." I said about to leave when it took like 3 minutes and he still didn't respond.

"I have to go... this talk is nonsense." I said.

"N-No wait...Mikasa..." I froze as he back hugged me.

"Let me go Eren." I tried getting away from him but he held me in his strong arms.

"You finally said my name..I miss you...love.."

My tears fell as I heard his broken voice. Liar. You are a fucking liar Eren! However, I found myself getting weak. I could feel my inside churning once again as I felt them partying while my face and mind says otherwise. I could feel insects on my stomach as he whispered soft words on my ear. Hearing countless of sorry and I felt tears falling on my back.

I let out an exasperated breath.

Why are you doing this to me Eren? I don't know what to do anymore!! Fuck.

"You have to let me go." I said as I tried to take his arms away but he was strong.

"No just please listen to me. I don't want this too but I don't have a choice. I don't want you gone! I want to spend my future with only you Mikasa!!" He said as he made me look at him.

He was crying.

I saw his bloodshot eyes.

And I thought I was the only one having a hard time when he is too. I felt guilty. I feel so bad. I feel horrible as a person for acting selfishly.

"Did you know how it pains me every time you act like I am not there. Do you know how many nights I had woke up from nightmares? How I had hard time sleeping?! It felt like I was in hell Eren and I'm tired of that shit!" I yelled to his face and he forcefully kissed me on the lips.

I pushed him hard away from me and he only moved a little not really making a difference and I felt weak as he continued kissing me despite being hit multiple times.

I gave in.

I closed my eyes and felt his kisses. I am tired of fighting. I just want to rest.

He stopped and he pressed our forehead together.

"Look at me." He says and he wiped my tears.

"I'm not expecting you to forgive me Mikasa. I just want you to know that my feelings for you didn't change. I love you. Don't ever forget that." He says and he hugged me tight and walked away.

I was left there with nothing but silence.

He once again, left me.