Meet Me in the Middle

Chapter 19

5 December 2018

I woke up to Selena Gomez going in my ear about how it wasn't her who broke the relationship. I suddenly realised how Samar had noticed the song that was on my alarm. And honestly, I had to agree. It was a bit pathetic. You know what else is pathetic? Thinking about your unattainable and funny super senior, first thing in the morning. I get up reluctantly as Angel comes over and starts licking my ear.

After an extremely cold shower, I open my casuals wardrobe. It was Deep's birthday today. Which meant we were all supposed to go out. I was dreading the company, yet I couldn't help but look forward to the place. I put on my dark blue jeans and a black racer-back. I open the other cupboard and skim through it. I already wore the green biker jacket yesterday. The canvas jacket was the day before that and the black denim, before that. I move my hands towards it all before an idea occurs to me.

Through a dark corner, I fish out a hanger and run my hands across the once familiar material. The finished leather still stands out. I shrug on the jacket and look at myself in the mirror. Not bad. I limp towards my room as Brownie begins tugging at the ankle of my jeans and pull out my brown leather boots from the storage inside my bed.

I give them a quick wipe down and zip them up. I stand in front of the mirror and send a quick snap to Sicko. He won't be responding before 8 at any rate.

Mom looks at me and smiles in satisfaction. She yawns, ready to go back to bed and says, "I'm glad you have friends now."

I stuff the lunchbox and water-bottle in my bag and reply, "I don't have friends. I have an Avi and a Samar. These people are just classmates."

Her smile falters a bit. "Well, have fun. What's Samar's full name, by the way?" Oh no no. We're not doing that.

"No idea."

"He's your senior, correct?"

"Yeah." I zip up my bag and make a run for the door as she yells at me to tie my hair.

*******

"I mean, you have the biggest trust issues that I have ever come across, other than me." I chuckle and text on the group chat with Avi and Samar that I'll be there in five minutes as Sicko keeps blabbering on the phone.

"I think it's justified, isn't it?"

He hums, pretending to think hard as I role my eyes to no one in particular. I do have headphones on, but still. "Well, let's see. Your mom trusts you, despite everything. Your best friend was a good dude while he was there. Nandini and Pari have never stabbed you in the back. Your most recent ex never really cheated on you. He was annoyingly in love with you, by the way. So what exactly is the issue?"

"Let me rephrase that for you, sweetheart. My mom says that she trusts me. My best friend divulged my biggest insecurity and secret to a person I didn't want to know. My 'most recent ex' assaulted a girl, regularly hit on almost every girl while forbidding me to even talk to a guy. And I was cheated on in my first relationship."

He's silent for a second and I almost smile. "Wait. Your first relationship ended in 10th. You were 15, dude. How did Abhishek even cheat? He said I love you to someone else jokingly? Or what, he gave his social media passwords to someone else? Tell me!"

I can almost hear him grinning. I have a strong urge to let him win this, but no. Let's burst his bubble.

"Actually, he lost his virginity to a girl who was in love with him. And then he slept with her a couple more time. This happened right after Anuj died on October 23rd and I was in mourning. He realised he hadn't been loyal and then due to his guilt, he stopped contacting me. I didn't hear from him for an entire month. He changed his phone number and disabled his online status from all of the apps. With no other way to contact him, I asked one of his friends to put me through. He still didn't call back. I had sent him a book in the courier before all of this happened. On 23rd of January, almost a month later, I thought I could get to him through his Instagram account. I guessed the password on the first try and logged in. The most recent text was to the girl, 2 hours earlier. I read the chat and realised what was going on. There were 'I love you's and nudes too. Coincidentally, the book reached him the same day and out of guilt, he called me in the evening to thank me and I told him I knew. He didn't say anything. In fact, he said he took full responsibility and didn't want to blame anyone else. But he never opposed me. He never even asked me to stay or try. I wouldn't have. But I sure as hell did want him to at least ask. But he didn't and we broke up. Weeks later, he told me I was the reason he cheated. That I was so deep in mourning, that it felt like I would never be the same again and he didn't want the broken shell anymore. He said I was someone who was extremely difficult to love and that I made it hard for others. Surprisingly, these are the same things that Hardik is telling me now."