𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬♥️-𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐚 𝐑𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐟𝐟

Daisy Chain

3RD PERSON

Spencer knew it was Natasha that had approached him without even needing to look up. He continued to attach the daisies to one another, holding the expanding chain up to Natasha each time. She smiled at him when he offered it to her, taking it from his hands and studying it intently. The daisies petals varied from all white to white with slightly pink edges.

"Perfectly imperfect." Spencer nodded down at the daisies being twirled around in her hands as she admired them, "Much like someone I know."

Natasha looked up at him with a soft smile, "Smooth. How many girl's have you tried that on?"

"Only one," Spencer smirked, "Beautiful red head. You know her?"

Natasha faux pondered for a moment, "Not too sure. Describe her, I'll see if her description rings a bell."

"She's got like wine red hair. These big, sparkly, forest green eyes. Only about 'yey' big." Spencer's once playful tone turned into one more serious as he looked at Natasha with nothing but pure adoration in his eyes, "She's very reserved until she gets to know you and realises that you're safe, and that she can be herself with you. And when she does that, it's one of the greatest honours in the world. She acts like she's emotionally invincible, but when she opens up to you about her nightmares; how tragic and broken they are, it only shows you just how brave she is for experiencing them and still making sure to tackle the day with a smile and a can do attitude. It's admirable really."

"Thank you." Natasha whispered. Her heart ached for the man sat beside her.

"Of course."

Their knees brushed whenever Spencer would shift to pick more daisies from the ground. She watched as he poked his nail gently through the stem, and threaded the stem of another daisy through it. To Natasha, it seemed like a process that Spencer was incredibly used to. Which was true. He had always enjoyed making decorative accessories with the flowers. Usually he just made flower crown type things, however when he was really in the mood, he would make a necklace or a bracelet. Of course, they never lasted long, but to him, that's what made them so beautiful.

"Frankie and Clint mentioned that the witchy Maximoff hit you pretty hard." Natasha made the move to break the silence again. "I'm here to talk if you want to. You know that, right?"

"I do." Spencer spoke up for the first time since his speech. His fingers no longer rustled through the grass, and even his breathing had become quiet. "It just felt so real."

"I know." Natasha whispered. Had it not been for the deafening silence of the isolated Barton family home, Spencer wouldn't have heard her, "I had this, um, dream. The kind that seems normal at the time, but when you wake..."

"What did you dream?" Spencer asked softly as he placed his hand ontop of hers.

"That I was an Avenger. That I was anything more than the assassin they made me." Natasha stared down at the grass, tracing her fingers over a stranded ant hill.

"I think you're being hard on yourself." Spencer moved his hands to swiftly place the flower crown upon Natasha's head. The colour of her hair, complimented the designs of the flowers perfectly; all coming together to bring out every feature of her face in all of the most beautiful ways.

"Here I was hoping that was your job." Natasha breathed out. She raised her hand to clasp it over Spencer's wrist that was still hovering beside her head.

"Well, everyone needs a day off." Spencer shrugged with teasing smile.

"What about you," Natasha settled herself beside Spencer again, resting her head against his shoulder, "What did you dream?"

"That I was with my family again." Spencer sighed as he placed his head ontop of Nat's, "Frankie wasn't there luckily. I don't know what I'd do if she was. It all seemed so natural, like it was real. My Mom and Dad were completely oblivious to what was happening but when... But when Giovanna came home," He let out a shaky breath, "She told me it wasn't real. And then their bodies t-they.."

"Hey, it's okay." Natasha cooed as she reached one of her hands up to run her fingers through his hair comfortingly, "Take your time."

"She begged me to snap out of it, to let them go again. But I didn't want to. And then their bodies began glitching.." Spencer's hand subconsciously slipped into Natasha's resting one, just like it used to when he was nervous, "I had to look at their bullet wound covered bodies, and it brought everything back. Now whenever I close my eyes, I relive it all over again." He shook his head and cleared his throat, "They wouldn't be dead if it weren't for me. I made my Dad spend countless amounts of money on buying off the families of people I had gotten into fights with, until I made him broke enough to have to borrow from his HYDRA friend just so we could scrape by. And the worst part is, I don't feel a single ounce of guilt. That's what frightens me. I say I don't feel anything, yet I feel like a monster."

Natasha took a moment to prepare herself for what she was about to tell Spencer. She trusted the man with her life, but this was something she hadn't even told Clint. It was something rooted so deep within her that it still affected her, even years later, "In the Red Room, where I was trained, where I was raised, um, they have a graduation ceremony. They sterilize you. It's efficient. One less thing to worry about. The one thing that might matter more than a mission. It makes everything easier. Even killing."

"Tasha.."

She cleared her throat and Spencer could feel her body stiffen beside him, "You still think you're the only monster on the team?"

"Natasha Romanoff," Spencer pushed Natasha off him gently so that he could look her in the eyes, "Your inability to have children doesn't make you a monster, nor does it make you any less of a woman. I love you for who you are, Natasha. Not what, but who. You heard my speech earlier, you are singlehandedly one of the greatest things to happen to this world. All of the good you have accomplished during your SHIELD career, completely outweighs all of the bad you may have done in your past. You're not that person anymore, Natasha. You're you. Just you. You rebuilt yourself after years and years of psychological torture and became your own person, and that's pretty damn awesome. You're no longer just the merciless Black Widow, you're Natasha Romanoff, strongest Avenger, and Black Widow. You're a role model to kids across the globe. Believe me, I've seen the toys."

Natasha couldn't deny the way her breathing became ragged at those three words. They hadn't uttered them during their relationship, both too scared to say it. On top of that, Spencer had an immense fear of allowing himself to love. Natasha didn't know if he meant it, or if it was just in the heat of the moment. But either way, she couldn't help the butterflies fluttering in her stomach. For both of their sakes, Natasha decided to take a more a sarcastic, yet meaningful approach, and avoided that conversation for the time being. "Two speeches in one day. Impressive Lahela." She smirked for a second before wrapping her arms around him, "And thank you. For everything."

Spencer nodded into the crook of her neck, his fingers tracing idle patterns across her back "Always."

A/N

MASSIVE THANK YOU FOR 14K READS BTW LMAOAOA

howdy howdy howdy lil shameless self promo 😝 i've got a book coming out within the next couple of days. i was meant to have it out by today but i wanted to add some extra chapters. so i aim to have it out by friday atleast, wednesday or possibly even tuesday at the earliest. its set in Captain America: The Winter Soldier. i'm pretty damn happy with it aswell so yeah

thank ya