Paint A Picture On Me

Ocho

{A/N: sorry it took so long, thank y'all for being patient ILY here's a triple whammy for all your patience<3 ! xoxo}

I couldn't sleep, I just felt so guilty for not having seen Amber in so long. A million what ifs run through my mind. I knew she was struggling, I should've done something, I should've helped her. I need to get out of this house, it's suffocating me.

I slip on some clothes that shouldn't bother me too much and I head out the door, not notifying anyone that I left. I'm a grown ass man after all.

I didn't have a destination in mind, I simply enjoyed the cool air and admired the snow. I tried to keep my mind wandering, but every time it kept landing back on Kellin. Even the subject of Amber seemed to have been trumped by the image of Kellin at that football game.

Amber, I've come to terms with, but apparently the Kellin issue isn't quite finished. I've decided to let his crush linger, so what's keeping my mind set on him? I mean, all I keep thinking about is how cute he looks in that jersey and how funny that joke he told me in anthro. on Friday was. Fuck maybe I caught his crush. No, my past experience tells me they aren't contagious. Hell, maybe I have caught something.

My mind's banter reaches no end and next thing I know I'm subconsciously knocking on Kellin's door. "Mierda," [Shit] I mutter to myself. "It'll be short," I assure my morals. The door swings open revealing Kellin's squinting face, his body hidden behind the wooden door. Gosh he's so cute.

"Oh no. You can't see me after last night," he says, closing the door on me, but I put my hand in the way.

"I'm not staying. I just wanted to see how you are," I tell him. He groans, but lets me pass nevertheless. He closes the door behind me and I spin around, admiring his blanket attire.

"Ugh, you're not supposed to be here I haven't even brushed my teeth today," he grumbles, running away quickly and dropping onto a couch, hiding under the covers.

I let out a small chuckle and reply, "You look fine. How are you feeling?" I ask, sitting on the edge of the couch by his feet.

"Embarrassed."

"Why?"

"You changed me liked a toddler last night," he grumbles, groaning again.

"I didn't mind," I tell him. Okay, whoa there, you minded.

"Sure you didn't," Kellin answers sarcastically. The situation last night was puerile, but I felt needed and enjoyed it overall. Okay, that definitely wasn't intended to sound so creepy.

"Whatever. Are you okay? Is everything alright?" I ask him.

"No," he replies, ornately. "I acted like a freak. I'm sorry you had to see that."

"Honestly, stop fretting it's fine," I tell him. He groans for the umpteenth time and tells me to leave since he's, and I quote, 'too disgusting for my pretty eyes'. "Um, one more thing," I say, a question flaring up in my mind. He hums, his way of telling me to go on, so I pick my words out and do exactly that. "Like, uh, what's the Alan situation about?"

"No. We are not having this conversation today," he says adamantly. "Now get out before you see my face again," he adds, rolling around uncomfortably. I chuckle and give his legs a squeeze, saying goodbye. I was about to leave the house when he calls out one last thing. "Thank you for yesterday! It was sweet of you!" With a smile on my face, I shut the door and wander off in a random direction.

The moment I left Kellin all I wanted to do was go right back. He's addictive, I can't seem to get enough. But I've been seeing far too much of him lately, it isn't healthy. I guess I should separate myself from him. Why is that idea so repulsive? Ugh, whatever I need music. I plug my earphones in and successfully lose myself only a few bars in.