Reason Enough to Celebrate

"I won't go home with him, you know," Meredith whispers. "I won't go home with him if I know that he's supposed to be waiting for you."

It's the kindest thing she can give her, and Meredith swears she sees Addison tear up a little as she accepts her promise.

Holden turns out to need a risky surgery, and he's just found out that his family is walking out on him.

He's been there all this time, and people stopped noticing him. His life passed him by, people passed by him without a second thought. And now he has to decide if he's going to try to keep living on with all the people who've left him.

Normally Meredith would compare her own life to her patient's, but this time she's seeing the parallels between him and Addison.

Addison's been trying with him, but Derek's just been letting her sit there all along, paying no mind to her as his own life keeps turning.

It makes her angry, it makes her sad.

It changes her opinion about Derek a little bit, but she's too caught up in the surgeries to fully process this right now.

As expected, Derek lets her scrub in later, and he says that she would have gotten the surgery because she would want to go into the future. Derek says that he doesn't know what he wants, and Meredith says that she knows he doesn't.

And they're not talking about the surgery either.

Derek isn't sure if he should keep trying with Addison or start over with her. And normally this would make Meredith happy because he could pick her, or choose her, or whatever. But now it just makes her feel for Addison, feel for Holden. Feel for being left in the past.

"She's been waiting for you, you know," Meredith says quietly, once it's over, and they're sitting on the bench outside of the hospital.

Derek has contacted Holden's family, and now all they can do is go home.

"Who?" Derek asks, and that tells Meredith all she needs to know about him.

"Addison," Meredith explains. "She said you were supposed to meet her for lunch. And then she came here. And you haven't asked about her all day," Meredith sighs exasperatedly.

"Do you love her?" Meredith asks him plainly.

"I don't know," Derek sighs, and looks down at his shoes.

The Meredith of yesterday might have told him that it's good that he's trying. That it makes him who he is. But the Meredith of today sees the pain that it's causing him. Causing her. Causing Addison.

It didn't work out for Holden, but at least he's asleep now. At least now he can move on. He's not stuck in nowhere.

They don't all need to be stuck in nowhere and wake up sixteen years from now and realize that their lives have gone by without them.

Not when they can be living their lives now.

"It's not enough you know," says Meredith. "It's not enough not to be sure. Not for me, not for you, not for her," she adds.

"Meredith-" Derek starts, but Meredith interrupts him.

"She's been waiting for you all day. She came here looking for you, and you didn't even ask about her. And she's your wife. Sure, she messed up, we all mess up sometimes. But she came here to either be with you, or leave you, and you're not giving her either. She deserves to move on with her life if she wants to. We all do," Meredith says, as she stands up from the bench.

"Where are you going?" Derek asks her.

"Dinner," Meredith says. "It's dinner time," and that's all she says before standing up again.