I Can See The Lighthouse Through The Smoke

I Can See The Lighthouse Through The Smoke 3

She also wishes that George would come back.

And that maybe she'd get to see Cristina, but it's all a lot to hope for.

Meredith looks around at the beach and explains that there's no pain where they are.

"I even miss the pain," says Derek.

Meredith knows that he's onto something when he says that.

As much as she enjoys living without any responsibilities, she'd give all that up to see her kids again. To work again. To start over again.

This reminiscing is nice, but they can't change the past.

They can only change the future.

Or, Meredith can. If she goes back to life again.

The house is a ruckus, as usual.

Winston had to go back and forth again, and that disrupted the childcare schedule and also gave Maggie quite the scare.

When he came back he diagnosed that Meredith needed a minor procedure.

He volunteered to help, along with Teddy.

They consult Cristina of course, who agrees, though she decides that she's too close to Meredith to help operate on her.

Addison watches from the gallery, along with Richard, and Bailey, and Cristina, and Amelia.

Maggie is home with Zola, so they have to update her.

On the surface the procedure goes well.

It's a medical success, though she's not immediately improving.

It's frustrating as hell, to say the least.

As much as they're all Meredith's kids, Bailey and Ellis are still a bit young to understand what's going on with their mother.

Zola though, is very in tune with it all.

She's mad, she's angry. She feels the protests and the movements around her.

And she feels as though she has to be strong for the others, such as when she doesn't want to wake up the baby.

Maggie helps her scream to let all their feelings out.

It's an outrageous plan, but it just might do the trick.

Winston is scared that Webber will fire him for it, but he's actually all for it.

"So we want to try bringing Zola in for Meredith," Maggie hears over the phone.

So does Zola, who wants to go.

So that's decided.

They equip her with all the gear, like the face shield, and the mask, and the suit.

Maggie says that she can change her mind if she needs to, but Zola runs into the room.

She hugs her mom and tells her how the other two come into her room at night sometimes.

How she lets them.

She conveys her spirit at being another parent while her mother's away.

"That's nice of you, Zo," Meredith smiles as she comes to again.

Zola bursts into tears and hugs her, as she wants to.

This time, Meredith stays awake for much longer.

They talk for a while, until one by one Meredith asks to see Bailey, and Richard, and Amelia, and Cristina, and Maggie once she's able to.

And finally, she asks to stay with Addison for a little while.

"I saw you, on the beach," Meredith smiles. "When I wasn't living, but wasn't quite dying, I went to the beach. And Derek was there. And Mark was there. And Lexie was there. And George was there. And Andrew DeLuca was there. And even Dr. Hayes was there, and you came there even though neither of you is dead or dying..." Meredith breathes.

"Okay?" Addison smiles.

"And everyone encouraged me to keep living. And I wanted to keep living. And I wanted to come back for you," Meredith smiles.

"I'm so glad to see you," Addison smiles too, and she caresses Meredith's face with her hands. "I've missed you."

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***** END OF CHAPTER 3