Was he skipping his lessons? Yep. The reasoning? He's locked himself in his room for the entire day going through ups and downs and a combination of multiple breakdowns. At this point he didn't know of the other was home, he didn't want to know actually.
If it was possible for his life to drop this badly he could only be a sitting duck waiting for the future.
He was so conflicting with himself, everything about it made him confused. On one end his mind was sure it was his fault but the other one told me no. It was so plainly obvious but he still rejected any chance of it. All chances of it actually. Miserable, that's all he really felt on the topic.
Locking himself in his room was his self punishment, the discipline that he couldn't receive, so he forced it. Unsure of why he was doing it to himself, he accepted the whole thing. His fault, it was always his fault. Why did everything go to hell the moment he changed schools.
Regret, so much regret, the constant regret. A funnel of regret that dropped everywhere he went. He could never take anything back, he knew that, but god damn was the regret unbearable. Like it was raining but forever, like it was forever raining. Raining shame wherever he went and whenever.
After awhile he felt numb, numb from himself. His body kept suffering but his mind was numb, he was empty. Like a shell of his original character. He loved thrill, he loved everything about being active, but here he was. He didn't feel production but he wasn't bother by it. Something he originally would never let happen to himself.
All the things that he'd never want to do was happening in that very moment, all the things that clashed his character was becoming his character. He was becoming the one thing he told himself he would never.
What was happening? This strange effect brushing over him like water to paper. Why now? To say he wasn't tearing himself apart from the inside out would be a lie.
Even his mind forgot how to comfort itself, all the things he learned that could solve all of this vanished. Vanishing at the worst time possible, when his life went to hell his mind chose to suffer. Normally he'd do something healthy to cope with himself but suddenly, suddenly he wants to cause trouble.
Suddenly feeling an rising of bad habits, bad coping mechanisms. All in the sake of wanting to feel whole again. He brought his hell down on itself, and it was plummeting from there. Like a stock market crash, it was gonna go down hill from this point further. Or something like that.
^
"Hey, have you seen Jaemin?" the female approached the other. She had been ringing the dark haired's phone like crazy and went for the next best approach. The blonde stared blankly with a bored look, "Why? Why do you think I know?" his words dripped venom like no other.
Sickening, it was sickening if anything. Something happened that made him behave like that she was sure of it.
"What's your problem?" she hissed in disgust at the other. "My problem? Why are you asking for someone I don't care about? Just leave me alone." he scoffed brushing his hand through his hair and adjusting his glasses.
She scoffed alongside him with a dark expression. "You're the problem here. Did you know that Jaemin cares about you a fuck ton? How he worries about you and talks about you with a huge smile?"
The blonde stared in disbelief, "What are you-" he attempted to bud in but she pushed him back, "No shut the fuck up and listen." she snapped once more.
"He cares about you so much to the point where I question why he comes crying to me over you. News flash you're a fucking problem. Problematic as shit if I must say so. Entitled to your word and you don't see that he's as fucking human as you are. Capable of living happy as you do." she rose her voice
"The way that you treat him is horrible, I hear it from him all the time, you are his best friend yes? Act like it then. There's a difference between light hearted 'annoyance' and ruining your trust with each other. If you weren't busy half assing your shit together while he watches patiently with the most genuine smile in the world you'd see a difference between your care for each other." she stared down on him, making sure her words hit straight.
"Answer me one fucking question, what did Jaemin do to you? Did he do anything to you that made you spite him or are you suddenly deciding to go against him." she took a step closer to him. His eyes widened at the words. She could tell his confusion, the slow process of her words.
"I.." was the only thing he could say. He was unsure himself, why did he do the things he did in the first place. What went wrong.
The tall female huffed in another breath, "So for the last fucking time, have you seen Jaemin?" she empathized her words deeper. The blonde fidgeted with his hands before holding out his keys and removing one of 2 identical keys.
"The keys to our apartment.. I have two because of a misunderstanding, I'll give you the address.." he muttered handing over the key to her.
"Wasn't that hard now was it." she rolled her eyes taking her phone and handing it over to him for the blonde to type in the address. "It's door 149" he said in a soft voice. He was practically shaking at that point.
"Do better Seo Moon." she voiced walking off to the desired place.
^
The sound of the door unlocking made him panic. Out of impulse he buried his head in his hands, already starting to feel the upcoming sob. His stomach started to turn, what he wasn't expecting was a feminine voice to appear out of nowhere.
"Hey, Jaemin?" she called out worriedly, wandering around the apartment before noticing the locked door.
"Hey bud, can I come in?" her words softened, her hand rested on the doorknob waiting for an answer. After a few seconds of silence she smiled slightly, sliding down the door and sitting there patiently.
"Alright I'll just sit here okay? It's been rough huh?" she chuckled slightly, resting her head against the wood door.
His head was on overdrive, racing through various thoughts at once. How are you here? was the main one in his head of course. Listening to her words had a strange comfort effect on him, perhaps it was her voice or the way she talked to him. He wanted to just listen to her, he didn't want to speak, hell if he could speak without straining his voice.
"I'll be here for you. At any given point if you want me to come into the room just knock on the door okay? You might not want to talk so I'll talk for you." she closed her eyes, hoping for any sign of response.
"You kinda freaked me out Na boy. But it's okay because I know you're safe in there. Gosh I hope you are safe. I wouldn't want to see you injured physically in any way." she muttered at the end.
A sigh emitted from her lips, "You care about him a lot don't you Jaemin? You care about him like he is your moon. The thing that shines in the night sky." she softly spoke, peering over to the door as if she could see him right there.
"You do a lot for people but don't get anything in return. So I'll be here waiting for you. I will be the person in return for you Jaemin. I promise my life."
Her words hit strongly towards him. Extremely hard. Gathering a sudden strength, he crawled over to the door and unlocked it. The subtle click was enough to signify her to come in. Peeking open the door the arms of the others wrapped around her the moment she entered fully. Tears fell onto her loose arms before they encased him in return
From the vibrations to the shaky sobs she felt his pain. He deserved better. It was just that, he truly didn't deserve treatment had had been getting. Rubbing his back in a comfort way, "I'm here for you love. I'm here for you."
------------------------------------------------
a.n
i think i have a problem of making my ocs suffer
so uhm
have fun next chapter :))))
