tw//slight yelling/hints of yelling, aggression
An aggressive vibration woke him up, it was dark out and he couldn't exactly remember what he was doing. Reaching out for the weird vibration the blinding light of his phone flashed in his eyes. Groaning he accepted it mindlessly, "Hello?" his raspy voice rang.
"Where the fuck are you Na Jaemin?" the voice on the other line yelled. Pulling his phone away from his ear he could hear the other voice vividly.
"I head home to the apartment, see that your shoes next to the door is gone. Your bedroom's door is wide open, there's several soju bottles in the living room, and your car is gone. Where the fuck are you" the voice scolded him causing him to form a headache. "Can you not be so loud.." he muttered finding himself burrowing into the soft pillows.
"Well what the fuck do you want me to do? Not be mad and confused when your roommate just suddenly disappears for the whole day and isn't at home as per usual doing some bullshit?" he gulped listening the other's words.
"I-Is that what you think of me? A roommate that messes around?" he spoke in a soft voice that was almost frightened. "You know that's not what I meant Jaem,"
His throat started to hurt strangely, "I-I'll call you back Moon," his hands strangely shook furiously as he struggled to end the call for a moment, "Wait Jaemin-" was the last he heard of him.
He let out a shaky breath, extremely bothered. He was stuck, stuck in a stupid loop of his stupid actions.
Gulping out his worries he slipped out from beneath the warm blanket and absently wandered throughout the large home, having no idea of what he was trying to achieve. A shimmer of light pierced his vision, like a moth attracted to the moon he followed the light until he was presented with a large space with equally large windows.
Nearly shell-shocked he sat in the middle of the open space. Drawing his knees up to his chest he just stared. Blankly into the suffocating walls that lacked any colour of personality. Perhaps it gave him comfort, unsure of why he had a slight suspicion on why exactly.
The loneliness seeped in to him around him as the light dimly hit him. His chest hurt internally, but not an actual pain. The pain of his internal built up emotions that found its way to his head. The repeat of words that spun through his head consistently at a rapid pace, overwhelming his mind.
Am I just a roommate?
It corrupted his head over and over again like food colouring in pure crystal clear water. Unsettled by his own presence a droplet slid down his cheek unknowing to himself. The first one began to start a waterfall of tears until he was having a full on breakdown of his own hellish emotions.
Getting lost in his crying, a feeling got dropped on his head. Reaching out for it he could assume from the texture that it was a blanket of some sort. Looking up he noticed the female standing there with a shy smile. "You okay hun?" she asked sitting down beside him.
Unsure himself, he shrugged letting the blanket encase his stature. "They say the ones with the prettiest eyes have cried the most" she softly laugh taking her hand to lightly force his head on her shoulder
"I don't think so.." he muttered letting the empty tears run down his face. "Wanna talk about what happened Jaemin?" she softly asked. A shaky breath emitted from his lips from the question, "No thanks.." he answered choking back the welling emotions in his throat. She sighed resting her head against his, "Late night troubles huh?"
They sat there in silence for a moment, the other's breathing patterns slowing to a more humane pattern. It signaled the other an obvious sign, taking him to the previous room. "It sucks to have all this bad luck. You deserve so much more than the treatment you're getting now" she muttered from outside of the room's door.
^
Unlocking the door to the apartment he was welcomed with a very, very angered blonde. "Where were you?" he crossed his arms with a stern expression. The redness in his eyes gazed upon the other, "Can we not do this right now." he muttered slightly leaning against the door.
"You really want to bail on me now? You were gone for what, a whole day without a single note on where and why?" his expression was laced with anger and aggression. "Please can we do this later I really can't.." he let out a shaky breath. "Why? Why are you acting like this? We're best friends. I just want to know what you were thinking leaving the apartment so randomly without a word." he continued to block the dark hair's way
Nibbling at his bottom lip he acted on impulse pushing past the male only for him to be grabbed back. "Jaemin what the fuck? Just tell me what's going on." he raised his voice at the other's behaviour.
His breathing patterns became unsteady as a coat of red spread over his vision before he fully snapped.
"What's going on? What's going on?" he rose his voice turning and yanking his arm away from the blonde. "I'll tell you what's going on, I'm having a fucking bad day. An absolutely shit day and I simply leave because my best friend, no my 'roommate' isn't around to talk to me because they're busy fucking around." he yelled back
"I'm suddenly not allowed to leave the house without telling you? What am I a dog? A child? Do you want to control me or something? Why can't I leave Moon. Seo Moon tell me why I can't leave without telling you." he pushed the blonde back startling the other.
He took steps back from the other, "You have free will to just fuck around and do whatever you want because you're the responsible one right? So that makes me unqualified to manage my own life? I can't drink? I can't leave me room? I can't go to other people's homes to hang out with them when someone who I thought was just my friend is now my babysitter?" his hands formed a fist
His nails burrowed into his skin in a seemingly painful way, "Why do you get to be the mad one when I'm the one that has every right to do whatever the fuck I want. Why are you mad at me for wanting to live for once? Am I not allowed to live without your supervision?" his dead eyes stared into the blonde's. For once he saw how the other shook under his gaze
It made him sick.
The unsteady breaths that he took, "Why do you care now Moon. I'm only your roommate who does random bullshit." he mocked his words turning away from the other. "I'm just your roommate. Nothing more. According to you." his last words lingered in the air till he slammed the door of his room. He slid immediately down his door with a burst of tears
A silent type of sob that had an empty meaning, he didn't want to cry yet it happened. He had never had such a fight like that with his best friend. He wouldn't want to fight with his best friend period. An act of impulse that he was going to regret for a life time of sorrows
The constant impulse that he grew to despise. Why did he do that? Why did he say those things? Why would he need to say those things? I should've kept quiet. It bounced around his head until the idea wanted to become reality. He didn't want to speak he didn't want to regret.
But he knew he was going to regret many more.
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a.n
i'm so sorry for not writing for 3 weeks uhstslj i'll get back to updates as much as i can <3
