Trigger warning: alcohol abuse, depression, and suicide.
This chapter is a very heavy one. It will contain narratives that revolve around the three sensitive topics mentioned above. If you feel triggered at any point, please do stop reading.
If you're sad today or if you're feeling emotional because you're going through something, it might not be best to read this now. Please take your time before proceeding to this chapter.
Lastly, if you're one of those or if you know family members/friends who are battling with these, please know that help is available. Below are the numbers you can call:
NATIONAL MENTAL HEALTH CRISIS HOTLINE:
Globe/TM: 0966-351-4518 and 0917-899-8727
Smart/Sun/TNT: 0908-639-2672
National Suicide & Crisis Lines
Suicide Crisis Line: (02) 8893-7603
Globe: 0917-8001123
Sun: 0917-8001123
Free Psychological Services Living Free Foundation:
Phone: (02) 8406-1611 loc. 4012
Globe: (0917) 322-7807
Eating Disorders
Philippine Mental Health Association: (63)2 8921 4958
Alcohol & Substance Abuse
Roads and Bridges to Recovery – Pasig City: 02-8643-6006
Center for Christian Recovery (Antipolo): (02) 8345-3228
House Of Hope, Inc. (Visayas): (032) 8340-7941
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"What?" My mouth gaped in shock.
A bitter chuckle inadvertently became his initial response to my consternation.
He snuffled and cleared his throat before saying, "He's not showing up so we had to look for him. Because Jasmine and Stef needed him." His voice has become hoarse now. And I can tell he's trying to compose himself. "Sa totoo lang, noong umpisa—noong nalaman ko na tinakbuhan niya si Jasmine, gusto ko siyang hanapin dahil gusto ko lang wasakin ang mukha niya. I have never felt so angry toward anyone in my life until that day happened. I even entertained the idea of going to jail just so I can beat that sick, lost brother of Satan!" His lips parted and his knuckles clenched in anger. He heaved out a scathing sigh before carrying on. "Napaka-demonyo kasi ng galawan. Tama bang takbuhan mo 'yung taong na-buntis mo? 'Yung taong tiniis ka kahit na kalahi mo si Satanas. 'Yung taong pinatawad ka at tinanggap ka nang paulit-ulit kahit na napakawalang-kwenta mo talaga. 'Yung nag-iisang tao na naniwalang kaya mong magbago kahit lahat na ng nasa paligid mo, tinalikuran ka na. Pero para saan ang lahat ng ginawa niyang 'yon? Para umalis ka kasi hindi na convenient sa'yo? Kasi ayaw mo ng responsibilidad? Kasi pakiramdam mo pabigat lang sila sa buhay mo? Siraulo ka pala, eh!"
Kinagat niya ang kaniyang ibabang labi, kasabay ng pagguhit ng galit sa kaniyang mga mata. Ilang taon na ang nakakalipas mula ng mangyari ang mga ito ngunit bakas pa rin sa kaniyang tinig ang hinagpis.
My chest tightened while looking at him in affliction because of the ghosts of his past.
I didn't know that a person like him—someone who always smiles, who makes jokes, who spends most of his time annoying those around him, and most especially, who is always kind, forbearing, and generous to people—carries so many scars, too.
And what's worse is that he had to bear all those wounds because of someone else. He went through so much hurdle and pain only not to be chosen in the end.
