under the same star }} e.p

alexandria's letter

caspian had not felt this kind of sorrow in his life, ever.

the kind of waves of shock and sadness that hit you when news have been broken.

you can't move, you can't scream. you cant even cry even thought thats the thing you want to do the most at that point.

not shortly after the kings and queens and blair had left, aslan told caspian the truth.

alexandria had died and gosh was he in the depths of despair; but he couldn't do anything.

he sat there on the edge of his elegantly made bed, staring off into space with a pair of extremely tired brown eyes.

he looked at the wide window in his bedroom, the sunset setting on the horizon bringing the much needed comfort.

for second, a bright light blinded his eyes. the sun was reflecting onto the gems of a box resting on his
dresser.

a smile creeped up his frowning face. all the memories of him and alexandria searching for small lost things across the castle came rushing to him.

he made his way towards the small, red box covered in colored stones and weirdly shapes gems.

his hands delicately brushed the sides of the box before opening it. things like pins, diamonds and small metal decorations scattered the inside of the square box.

he took one of the diamonds and examined it in his hands, holding it like it was a precious, historical artifact.

another thing, though, caught his eye.

something that he hadn't remembered him or alexandria putting there.

there was this "secret" compartment under the first layer of the box, only fit for paper or such. and what seemed to peak out of one of the corners looked like paper or an envelope.

caspian rested the diamond down and took out the envelope from the "secret" compartment.

his heart nearly stopped when he saw the handwriting on front of the brown paper.

"to future king, caspian"

he quickly turned the envelope around and discovered a folded letter inside.

the letter laid in his hand for a couple of seconds. his mind was debating on wether he should open it or not, afraid of what it might say.

at last, he took in a deep breath and unfolded the mysterious letter.

"dear caspian,

you are more than likely reading this if you happened to stumble across this box we rarely use anymore, and if so, good. that was my intention.
this was originally a plain, goodbye letter but after some consideration i decided it is a farewell. it would be as if i were asking for more if i stayed for heavens knows what that man is capable of. that is without saying how much it pains me to know you will stay there. oddly enough i feel that if i do not go on this journey, i might block something absolutely amazing from happening. of course that could only be my mind but i am not so certain about that. i just want to write to you in this letter that no matter if i come back or return, you will always be number one in my heart. and who knows, once you become king you'll become number one on thousands of other hearts. just, don't forget i was the first one, alright? and i can not repeat this enough, stop tormenting that poor cat. these scars are constant reminder of the apologies we owe him. i will sneak you some more food from the maids if you do so, if i come back.

p.s: make sure our favorite balcony is clean and not forgotten!

with love from me to you,
alexandria"

caspian grasped the paper in his hands like they were about to disappear.

hot tears streamed down his face and his body slid down a wall, devastated and full of held in sorrow and disappointment.

he pulled in his knees and burrowed his face in them.

crying his heart out, caspian laid there on the floor, heartbroken. all he wanted was to love, to be cared for, and instead all of this replaces his wishes.

caspian realized that the reason why blair mustve looked for him at that hour was because she had found out about alexandria.

he wanted to turn back time and tell her "its okay! i wont do anything to you" or "i wont be mad" and that way they couldve been there for each other but everything happens for a reason.

all he can do now is go forward, even if its alone.