under the same star }} e.p

chapter 16: instinct

"1! 2! 3!"

susan rock, lucy scissors, i did rock.

me and susan high fived each other while lucy pouted.

"why do i have to be the one who searches for you two? i did it one time already!"

susan instructed her to turn around against the tree behind her so lucy would be facing it. turns out when you get bored from trying to get a giant lion to contact you, hide and seek seems like a fun game.

"you agreed to the rules, lucy. now you have to go by them"

lucy huffed but at the end she covered her eyes and faced the giant tree.

"count to 60!" i reminded her and just like that me and susan ran away, giggling but trying not to make any noise at the same time.

i gestured susan that i would be going in the opposite way of her and she gave me a thumbs up. i ran a little farther away and i could hear the faint "10! 9! 8!..." from lucy.

it must've been close to 12 in the afternoon. the sun hit my face and small beads of sweat sparsely covered my face. different shapes and sizes of the shadows gigantic trees were making ran across my face. it was as if we were both racing.

it had been a day since we were here. today we had to return but we couldn't help but have a few rounds of hide and seek.

a spot caught my eye and i was very confident lucy wouldn't catch me.

i crouched down and looked through the small spaces of the bushes which i was hiding behind. for a split second it was as if i was transported all the way to that first time i got here to narnia.

that same uneasy feeling, not knowing what to trust and seeing the four siblings standing in front of me like i was some puppy. i smiled at nothing, remembering the way me and edmund wouldn't get along at all.

slowly, we began to tear down each other's walls.

and even though it's not clear, it seemed that after i basically rejected him his feelings for me started to fade away.

what i hated the most is my confliction. im relieved, because when its eventually my time to leave it wont hurt as much. but im going to be hurt anyways, because no matter how bad or how good things get between us, even after this recent incident, we will never be together.

my thoughts were interrupted when a strong gush of wind hit my face, making me flinch. it was cold, but it was as if it was hugging me at the same time.

my ears tickled and i started hearing things. no, im not crazy.

i genuinelly started hearing an echo. i guessed it was maybe lucy finally spotting susan but it definitely wasn't her voice. this was a much, much deeper one.

i looked behind me, still not getting up in case lucy was around.

the forest was almost reaching out to me, all it was missing was for it to say "blair, come here".

i could feel the blood in me circulating even faster when i realized that this could be aslan. this could be him finally reaching out to us, to me.

i got up to my feet and started making my way deeper into the forest.

"aslan" i called out. but no response.

as the shadows covered more and more, becoming darker and darker, i began having this deep intuition.

the trees weren't moving. the scenery wasn't serene anymore. the mood wasn't light.

something was wrong. this isn't aslan calling out to me.