"You're Alone Kokichi, And You Always Will Be" // A Saiouma Angst Story

Chapter 11 - Keep it a Secret

"Kokichi.. why.." I sat there, crying for about a minute before finally snapping out of my thoughts. Shit what am I doing??? I'm not a doctor! I need to get an ambulance

I frantically searched for a nearby phone, I barged into Kokichi's bedroom and found his phone. I opened up the phone app and dialed 911.

time skip 7 minutes

After telling the paramedics the details on the phone, I went back to the bathroom, I needed to make sure Kokichi was safe and alive.

I sat down next to the tub, looking at his damaged body with tears in my eyes. "It'll be ok Kokichi.. please trust me.." I let out sobs filled with sadness and anger.

How could I let this happen.. maybe.. maybe if I just spent more time with him.. or protected him from those bullies.. this wouldn't have happened.. I'm such an idiot..

I then heard sirens from outside of the school. I checked Kokichi's pulse, realizing I had been too lost in the moment to do it before calling 911.

It was faint.. too faint. I heard Kaito next door yell shut up at the sirens. if only he knew.. I thought to myself.

The paramedics barged through the door, making me jump. One pushed me out of the way to get to Kokichi quicker, I didn't blame them though. They were trying to save him and I didn't want them to fail at that.

As I was watching them carry him out of the bathroom and to the ambulance, outside of the building. I started to wonder...

how long had Kokichi been suffering.. how did I not notice.. well.. I did notice but I was too careless to actually help him when I noticed something was off... I'm sorry Kokichi.. I'm so stupid.

They put Kokichi's unconscious body into the loud car. I followed in afterwards, still crying. I stared at him and noticed something about his expression.

Even though he mostly looked sad and in pain.. I couldn't help but realize that he looked sort of... happy? Well I suppose you would be happy when you're suicidal and dying but... something was off about his smile.

This smile looked forced, like he didn't actually want to die but he was lying to himself saying he did.

We eventually pulled up to the hospital and the paramedics put Kokichi on a stretcher. I followed them to the room he was going to be staying in. Room 792.. I should keep that in mind just in case.

Time Skip To an Hour Later, 3am.

I hadn't left Kokichi's side since we got to the hospital. I didn't want to leave him alone again. We were on the 7th floor, so its not like I had a choice anyway, if I left Kokichi would probably jump..

I tried to stay awake for as long as I could, waiting and waiting for Kokichi to wake up. I could have sworn I had only closed my eyes for a second.. but I had accidentally fallen asleep instead.

Kokichi's POV

Wake up.

no

It didn't work.

...you don't know that

yes I do..open your eyes.

no, I don't want to. I just wanna fall asleep and never wake up, why won't you let me have anything good.

Get. Up. You're not dead. Your attempt failed and its all your fault. You can't lie your way out of this one now can you?

I.. can.. if I just stick to my facade then everything will be fine and no one will suspect a thi-

its too late. they already know how weak you are. They've seen past it.

No they havent. Not yet. I've only heard one person, and it was... Saihara.. wait.. you're right.. no no no no no no no my reputation is ruined... IM SO FUCKING STUPID.. NOW MY ONLY FUCKING FRIEND KNOWS HOW WEAK I AM-

Shut up. Wake up. Open your eyes or ill do it my fucking self.

Even though I didn't want to open my eyes and wake up, I knew I had to eventually. And I did. It was the worst choice of my life.

I woke up to see Shuichi, sitting there. He had tears rolling down his cheeks while he sleeped. I looked down at my body and felt traumatized at the sight I saw.

My arms, legs, and stomach were all marked up. I started to cry, why did I do this to myself? What was wrong with me? Why did I try to kill myself in such a brutal way???

I sat up, I felt nothing but pain in all my limbs. I let out loud whimpers of pain, crying. My head developed a pounding headache. I looked over at Shuichi, I wondered how he felt when he found my half dead body.

Before I could even fully wake up, I noticed something was missing. Something important to me. I started to search for my handkerchief.

Panic clouded my mind as I looked for the special object. It was so dear to me I couldn't lose it, not after it was the only thing I had closest to DICE.

I started to cry even more at the thought of my organization... the fact that it wasn't even real and that it was all made up in the killing game.

I changed the subject to myself, I had too many things I wanted to cry about but I couldn't. If Shuichi saw me in such a vulnerable state he'd laugh and call me weak.

I stopped searching for my handkerchief after I had looked over at Shuichi and saw that he had it clutched in his hand. I probably put him in such a terrible situation... I'm so stupid..

I calmed down after knowing it was safe and not lost, but I was still crying. I layed back down, feeling defeated. But my pity party came to an end when Shuichi had woken up.

"Kokichi! You're ok!" He yelled, he looked so happy when he saw me. Tears of joy filled his eyes.

He's faking it.

shut up.

I drowned out my negative thoughts and smiled back at him. He pulled me in for a hug. "Don't ever do that again, you hear me?" I didn't respond, I only pushed back from him and nodded. But I wasn't telling the truth.

"Kokichi, I just wanna know one thing... why did you do that?" My heart dropped. "Well I can't answer that Shuichi, thats more than just one thing!" I said with a laugh.

He looked at me with a concerned look.

"Listen, Shuichi. Just.... keep it a secret ok? Don't tell anyone about my attempt. Do you promise not to tell anyone?"

"I promise."

1767 words. I'll try to get Chapter 12 out as soon as possible!