Heavy Blood

25. Tobirama (Epilogue)

That first evening when I followed him back to his place had been a mess.

"Oh, I love what you've done with the stone bench in the kitchen! It goes well with the lamps- Ouff!"

Izuna had pushed me against the wall and pinned my hands to it. I was taken by surprise as he'd always struck me as someone who wouldn't take the lead. Oh, how I loved being wrong. He had done all sorts of things to me as I, to my horror, became a moaning mess pressed up against the wall before he dragged me to the bedroom, pushed me onto the bed and clambered onto me, hugging me close. We had tugged at our clothes until we were completely naked, sweat already making both of our bodies glistening. I put my hand on his head; it seemed so small in my palm now he had short hair, but I loved the feeling of it underneath my fingers. He opened his mouth for me, and I gently stuck my tongue in it, softly wrestling him for a while before he pulled back.

"Let me see them. Please."

It took me a while before I realised what he meant. I turned back, and immediately felt his cold palm against the scars. He pulled his hand along each thick ridge, let his index finger trace the smaller cracks.

"They've healed beautifully", he whispered.

"As has my heart", I said.

I turned around and pulled him into my lap then, and he pressed himself against me. I leaned my forehead on his shoulder and grunted softly. After a while, he took my face in his hand and bit my lip. I jerked back, but he looked at me with calm eyes, asking me if he could continue with just one look. I consented. He kept biting, and I pinched my eyes closed against the pain.

"Why are you crying?" he asked. "Does it really hurt that much? Do you want me to stop?"

"No! It's just..." I closed my eyes. "I used to give myself the ugliest rashes. And now, this small bite... It hurts. The thought that I could do that to myself..." My voice was wobbling and I hated it. Izuna, however, didn't make a fuzz. One of the many things I loved about him.

"Hush, baby. You don't do that anymore," he said, and with one last bite, I felt blood starting to trickle down my cheek. Izuna put his lips to it and started sucking then. "You taste good, babe", he breathed.

I laughed then. "Izuna! You have a blood kink!"

He looked at me in surprise, then shrugged his shoulders. "Never thought of it that way. But I guess you're right." He put his fingers to my lips until they were covered in blood, then lowered them and grabbed my length. What was it with this boy and using my own blood as lube? But I immediately grunted. And as he started beating, I had to bite down hard, a cold sweat grabbing hold of me and forcing me into its surges.

"Tobirama", Izuna whispered. "Don't hold back."

"What do you mean?" I asked in a low voice.

"It's fucking hot when men moan for me. Don't try to be quiet."

And I completely let go. Before I knew it, he was on all fours in front of me, me thrusting my hips behind him, bending down, gluing our bodies together as I screamed to the heavens and it felt so fucking good I didn't even know if I believed in God anymore because this was not something that could be created by God; it was something that could only be created between me and the man I loved. Izuna came with a scream, but I kept thrusting until I came, too, and he was so done afterwards, so completely done for, that he could barely stay awake.

I let him sleep in my arms. 

Four years had passed since then, and I still held him in my arms, in a completely different setting. We were laying down on the dark grey stone floors of a luxurious, ginormous shower. There were windows out from floor to ceiling, but that didn't bother us because out there was nothing but rainforest, its mist matching the steam in the shower pouring hot water over our bodies as we lay huddled together, me with my arms around him. I stroke his hair, still short; he reached behind him and pulled his fingers through mine, still blonde and shoulder-length. I kissed the top of his head, took his hand in mine, played with his golden wedding band. I had a matching one, although mine was polished and rounded, while his was matte and flat. My husband... He's my husband. It still felt surreal. Finally... Finally, we were married.

I let my hand sneak down to his abdomen. "How do you feel?" I ask.

"Hurts sometimes", he said, and I was glad he was honest. "But it's better today."

The worst part of the year was always his yearly controls regarding cancer; first a visit for radiology and blood tests, then a few weeks later for a doctor's appointment for the results. It scared the death out of me. I could hardly eat or sleep the week before, and when he was away for the results, it had happened that I actually threw up out of pure nervousness. I don't know why; he himself was so calm, so collected, kissing me goodbye happily before leaving. When he came back the first time after getting the results, I tried to play it cool.

"What did they say?"

"Nothing there", he said calmly.

I always broke down crying.

I had surprised even myself; I had no idea there was so much built-up tension within me. But I had wailed for a good hour, so devastated of relief I couldn't speak.

"Oh, dear", Izuna had said, dropping everything at hand, bending down to comfort me. "Oh, gorgeous, no! Don't cry. Don't cry, baby."

I had gotten more used to it now. But his last appointment was half a year ago, and a few weeks ago, his stomach had started hurting. I had massaged it to try to relieve it, and felt something that hadn't been there before. Like he had swallowed a golf ball.

I had broken down again.

Izuna, cool as always, had comforted me, and very calmly booked a doctor's appointment. They had taken the X-rays one week before our wedding, and we were going to get the results once we came back from our honeymoon in Costa Rica, where we were now.

"I am so happy for Hashi and Mito", Izuna sighed.

I smiled warmly. "I know",  I said, thinking of their little son that they had finally conceived. He'd been born two months ago, and our wedding was his first day out. Suddenly, a thought struck me. "You mean... You mean you want one?" I asked.

Izuna knew me too well; he immediately snapped up the hope in my voice. "Oh, Tobes, we've talked about this... Not when my future is so uncertain."

"Don't..." I swallowed. "Don't talk like that." Usually, he agreed, but now, there was the lump in his abdomen to consider.

"Tobes, whatever happens... I am so happy I got to marry you. And I would never want to keep anything back from you. So I you really want to... I mean, it's not that I don't..."

"Shh, I know, baby, I know. There is time."

I could feel Izuna smile.

We didn't talk more for the rest of our shower, just sat down in the warm water raining on us, looking on the forest. In the evening, I knew we would sit in our couch and watch a movie. I would mix drinks for us, and Izuna, not a man who could handle alcohol very well, would get all giggly and I would carry him to our king-sized bed where I would make love to my husband.

Izuna, whatever happens...

I held him close to me in my arms, nuzzled his hair.

I love you. I love everything you are and I love our love story...

I was glad we were in the shower so he wouldn't notice my tears.

I cherish every moment with you. Waking up together in the sun. Cooking together. Relaxing with a book each. Our fights. The make-up sex. Listening to music together. Going for walks...

I cried and pressed him close to me.

You are all the stars I ever made wishes upon...

He fiddled with my wedding band.

And I promise to protect you to the best of my abilities, whatever you need to go through...

And we lay there, neither knowing if there was a timed bomb in his abdomen or not but doing what we could of what we had built together.

And I promise you all of my tomorrows. 

I held him close, kissed his head. He sighed happily, completely content in my arms.

End.