Halfpace

Chapter 1

But maybe it's not that bad. Always gotta think optimistic, right?

It's getting harder to breathe with every second that passes. When I wanted to look, how bad the fire actually is, I tried to escape the house soon after, because I saw flames coming up the stairs, which means I'm seriously stuck. I've never quite been the type that liked being in small places, areas or rooms but knowing there's no way out of here makes it worse. I wish my best friend would hold my hand right now cause he's been my comfort person for the past 3 years. Thinking of him reminds me that maybe I'll never see him again or that I'll never be able to play that one chord on the guitar. I never and I repeat never thought that I'll be saying that but I'll never have to listen to the girls in my class making fun of me again.

Maybe dying isn't as bad as I thought it would be.

My breathing is getting faster and faster and then it suddenly stops for an endless amount of time. I sit on the windowsill, my forehead laying down on my knees, while my arms are wrapped around my legs. I try to stay as calm as possible, trying to find a way out of this situation.

For trying to calm down, I try to distract myself. Being busy while waiting for someone to safe me might speed on the time, that feels like it doesn't go by at all. I start to daydream about all the moments where I genuinely felt happy or things that reminded me of something good, doesn't matter what it is. I think about my best friend, the goodnight song my mom always sings to me, while her arms are wrapped around my stomach from behind, my favourite meal, reading my favourite book for the first time and rereading it for the hundredth time, my favourite song and favourite movie. All of these listed things bring me so much joy and I couldn't live without them.

There's this electricity going through my body, a feeling that I have never felt before.

A feeling that is not able to be put in words.

A feeling that feels like I'm living between death and life.

A feeling that if I'd continue living, I'd never want to feel it again.

It feels like I've been stuck in this room for years, still not being able to think of a solution to get out of here. It's like all my braincells have been taken over by anxiety. Maybe that's what actually happened. Maybe that's the electricity I've been thinking about. Aren't people that are dying reliving the best moments of their live? If yes, then I think I'm not dying for now. Well to be fair I did relive them because I just thought about my happiest moments in life but that was because I was the one that wanted to, so that does not count.

I cough, the flames almost arriving my room. I'm not usually the one to pray, go to church or to believe in things, that aren't proved with any kind of undeniable proof, but now I need all the help I can get.

„Hey God", i whisper, feeling incredibly stupid for actually praying and not trying to run away and out of the house,"uhm I don't really know what to do but please, send me air to breathe and let me live a little longer. I still need to find out what superpowers dad and mom have. Maybe I'm even living in a book and nobody would read such a short book so please, let me fill out the pages that I have let cause I'm just at the beginning. I'm basically at chapter one and that wouldn't be a book that's worth reading now, would it?

I wanna be the one I'd look up to right now. I wanna make mommy and daddy proud. I want to protect my best friend from all these girls, because they're not good enough for him. Nobody is. Someday, I want to write a song, produce it and maybe show it to the people that mean the most to me. I wanna make those people proud, but most importantly I want to make myself proud. So if I'm meant to do any of these things and if I'm meant to deserve and someday receive happiness, let me stay alive. I don't wanna die, no not yet. Like can you imagine him surviving without me? We're like a locker and a key, not functioning without each other. Please, I'm begging you. Let me survive. I'm a survivor not someone who gives up that easily."