One Night Only

Chapter Three- Present day.

~Kirsten's point of view~

~Present day~

I swore I wouldn't let that night haunt me, and it doesn't. However, day fourteen of being here makes me think long and hard about that decision. The mystery man had one night only. I didn't; I got Zane. My three-year-old with blue eyes and blonde hair. I can only say that he must look like his dad. He definitely has none of me in him. Either way, seeing him here like this breaks my heart.

When Zane was three months old, he broke out with an extremely high fever. I called his pediatrician. She told me to take him to Vanderbilt Children's hospital. The hardest thing ever for a parent is to see your child intubated, knowing there's nothing you can do. Zane was diagnosed with kidney reflux disease. This a condition where his urine flows backwards, causing kidney infection and sometimes bladder issues.

He was put on a Penicillin based antibiotic. When he was five months old, he started having trouble breathing. I rushed him back to Vanderbilt. He was diagnosed with an allergy to Penicillins. They changed his medication to Bactrim; that worked until fourteen days ago. There is surgery to fix it. I've never understood why they haven't done it yet. He's three. They do his testing every six months; It hasn't cleared up. I think it's time for a second opinion.

I struggle with that. I really like his pediatrician; she loves him and takes an interest in him. She just doesn't push for the surgery. I've never understood it. Her husband is a urologist. Not that I could afford her husband; he's the best there is.

I'm not broke. I have mixed my business money and my personal money. We are not rich; I'm not poor either. I've raised my son without help from anyone. My parent's babysitting doesn't count; I do not take money from them.

This may change things.

Telling them was hard. I couldn't talk about what happened, so I just told them it was a one-night stand. They love Zane. I am now the disappointment; I'm not to my dad. He just doesn't stand up to my mom. I lay here on the couch and stare at my son. They had to intubate him three days ago. They couldn't get his fever down and ran a ton of tests. They are supposed to take it out today. His fever has gone down, but it's not gone.

I sit up when the door opens.

Carter: "Hello, Sweetheart."

Kirsten: "Hello, Daddy. Hi Mom."

I've never called him anything different.

Carter: "How is he today?"

My dad really cares about Zane. He's come every day.

Kirsten: "Dr. Howell hasn't been in yet."

Carter: "Good, I wanted to be here when she came in."

My dad goes over and kisses him on the forehead.

Christina: "Kirsten, don't you think it's time to try to find his father?"

She made it a whole five minutes. This is my mom; this is what she does. I know she loves him, but this she struggles with.

Kirsten: "How many times do I have to tell you I have no idea who he is?"

Christina: "Who gets so drunk that they don't know?"

Kirsten: "Me, mom. I did. His dad has nothing to with what's happening to him."

Christina: "He could at least help with the medical cost."

Kirsten: "I've handled it, Mom."