rough start. 🥀

part 6: drunk 🖤

 

i felt....

calm...

it was now late at night, i was by myself in my dorm. i skipped classes again because when i wasn't with mattheo people made fun of me, constantly snickering while i was around. and i didn't have a lot of classes with him. i felt like shit today so i came back and i went for a shower.  i dried my hair and straightened it thinking it would help me feel a little more alive and well,it didn't.

it is true, i should not have fucked him, i shouldn't have been there in the first place but they don't know the situation. and it felt so good.. i got butterflies thinking about it..

stop. thinking. about. it

i'm having mixed feelings on what happened, it was so good but the decision was so bad, at the time it was significant but the outcome definitely wasn't . i've lost my friends...

but what mattheo said was right, they weren't my real friends. but who would want to be friends with someone who would do such a thing? with a murderer? i'd hate them... oh god.

nothing was helping me feel good about what i'd done so i pulled out a bottle of bourbon. i didn't put it in a glass i just chugged it. it always seems to wash away feelings, id already finished the bottle... i wanted more

i turn up my music, not loud enough for others to hear but it was loud.. i grab multiple bottles of vodka and continue to chug them all. one by one.. at this point i couldn't feel anything, control anything. i just let my body do what ever it wanted. dancing to my favourite music. just enjoying the moment. i find myself leaving my dorm with half a bottle of pure vodka in my hand

my feet dragging along the floor, i see that i'm in the boys dormitory
*knock knock*
i open the door before an answer and see mattheo again, i slurred a laugh and walked toward him.
"want some" i was blinking slowly, i look at the half empty bottle of vodka i shook in my hand and i laugh again.
"y/n are you drunk?" he looked almost worried for me. how funny. i wonder if he likes sandwiches?

"do you like sandwiches?" i achieve to speak half properly
"i'm guessing that's a yes" he chuckles
"do you? or do you more like table cloths or bicycles?"
"how much did you drink?" he tilts his head,  patting his bed for me to sit. i stumble over laughing and lay down with my arms out side from side. i start counting my fingers,squinting my eyes. i got over the limit of fingers and speak

"i think... russia."
"okay *smirks* what are you here for?"
"uhm you of course" i say innocently
"is that so?" he questions while getting on top of me, with his chain dangling down shining at me
"shhhh," i put my finger over his lips
" i think, that you... OMG WHAT IS THAT?!" i jump up and squeal excited looking out the window,
"white stuffs!, wow they are so cute ☺️"
mattheo looks confused, he walks over to me wrapping his hands round my waist and whispering to me.

"want to have some fun?" he cocks an eyebrow grinning
"always" i turn round and get on my knees, i look up at him for a yes and start unbuttoning his trousers, then pants. until he was bare naked.

it almost sprung at me, it was so long and hard. urgh. i start of by wrapping my hand round it and wanking him off, i then kiss the tip and lick round it
"no playing with me princess, you will regret it." he says sternly before yanking my hair
"cmon, i'm waiting."
i put in all in my mouth, sucking. my tongue were on his balls. he groans and strokes my hair. "good girl" he growls at me. it was hot.

i start going faster, he breathes heavily. i use my spit to wetten him and suck him off while looking at him directly above me
"mmm, y/n more."
i pick up the pace and he moans my name.
a hot heavy cream hits the back of my throat and i swallow because that is what he likes..
"ohhh" (cringe ik ik) he speaks under his breath. he cums again and i lick it off his dick.
"your getting very good y/n" he pants out of breath laying back down on his bed. i follow him and lay on top of him.
"i like seeing you pleasured by me" i bite my lips licking off any access from what dirty i just did.

"y/n, will you promise to pleasure me forever?"
"whatttttt pshhh haha i can't, i won't remember this tommorow. plus i'm supposed to hate you. and i do it's just that-"
"drink this" he looked at me with pure hatred..i don't know what i was doing but i obey slowly fading away into darkness. i pass out.

what did he give us??? bit harsh for only saying we kinda HATE you😌 anyways you kinky sluts have a lovely day ✨🤍🌹🫀💄🖤❗️