chapter eight - how could you

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As Snape dismissed the class, mine and Hermione's table last as we were talking, I noticed Ron wasn't waiting outside the door like normal. Once we were allowed to leave I looked at either end of the hall for him. Nothing. Huh, that's strange.

'Hey I'm just gonna go try find Ron quickly, I'll meet you, Gin and Harry at dinner?' I spoke to Hermione.

'Of course, I'll let them know.' she smiled to me and walked away, following the crowd of people walking towards the stairs.

I wandered around the halls quickly, scanning for a redhead, but had no luck and so made my way towards the stairs. As I began walking up I heard...kissing? Being my nosy self I quietly walked back down and peered my head around the corner.

My heart sunk.

It was Ron.

With Lavdener.

'R-Ron?' I barely whispered before a lump formed in my throat and tears pooled in my eyes.

He looked up at me, his eyes clouded.

'What?' he spoke sternly and confused.

'How could you, after everything.'

'Face it babe, he fancies me more than you.' Lavender laughed at me, causing more tears to form.

'N-no he doesn't, t-that's not-'

'Um okay.' Ron spoke up before pulling her back in for a passionate kiss, a meaningful kiss...the way he kisses me.

Before I saw more I quickly turned and ran up the stairs, not making it obvious I was crying to those walking past. I saw Hermione, Harry and Ginny walking towards the Great Hall and so I swiftly walked past them, not wanting to talk to anyone.

'Y/N?' Harry asked.

I ignored him and carried on until I picked up a little pace and ran back to my dorm, running straight past the twins and Luna on the stairs who asked me something, concerned, but I don't know what. Everything became muffled as I got to the Fat Lady, mumbled the password, and ran inside my dorm where luckily no one else was.

How could he. He knew I was always worried about her. It's not even like they were being that secretive, did he want me to find out? A million thoughts rushed through my head. Am I seriously not good enough for him? Was it me? Something I said, did? I couldn't put the peices together. He told me he loved me this morning, it just didn't make sense. He promised he wouldn't hurt me.

'Y/N? Are you in there?' I heard a muffled Hermione ask from behind the door.

'No..'

The door swung open and revealed Hermione, Ginny and Harry.

'Oh my goodness what happened?' Harry asked. I stayed silent.

'C'mon N/N, you know whatever it is you can talk to us.' Ginny spoke reassuringly, sitting herself down on my bed next to me.

'I-, I'ts...'

I took a deep breathe and regained my thoughts, my head still spinning however.

'It's Ron..' I started, 'I-I saw him and...L-Lavender, k-kissing.'

'WHAT.' Ginny roared, 'THAT, THAT DICKHEAD, HOW DARE HE-' she continued, raging.

'I know Gin, I-I'm sorry.'

She calmed down a little at what I said but still was boiling with anger.

'Why are you sorry N/N, you haven't done anything but love him, a-and he,' she began stammering with rage, 'he goes and does THIS? WITH HER?'

'I don't believe it.' Harry spoke up, gobsmacked. 'Just this morning he was talking about you like you were a godess and now he...' he couldn't bring himself to finish his scentence.

'T-This doesn't add up.' Hermione finally spoke, look mad and confused- two feelings she hates.

I could feel the tears pooling in my eyes as everything came rushing back into my head.

{Flashback TW-Sexual Assult}

'GET OFF ME!' I cried as he grabbed my arm and began kissing on me.

'P-Please..'I whispered with tears running down my face, my clothes on the floor.

'Not until you learn your lesson...' he spoke menacingly before grabbing my breasts and taking my shirt off.

'MUMMY PLEASE' I cried out once more for help. She came rushing in and grabbed a hold of his arms.

{End of flashback}

The way Lavender kissed him was like the way my Father kissed me, everytime he...yeah. It was desperate.

'Hey, hey..' Hermione came rushing over as she realised the signs that I had a flashback. 'He's not here anymore, it's okay.'

I couldn't help it. I brought her in for a hug and started sobbing, letting it all out.

'It's okay..it's okay.' she whispered to me, stroking my hair.

I felt lightheaded, I couldn't think straight. For the first time in my life things were finally working out for me, and now it's all just broken down around me. I lifted my head up from Hermiones shoulder, leaving a wet patch from where I was crying.

'Shit, Mione I-'

'It's okay, it'll dry.' she cut me off, smiling at me sincerely.

'I'm sorry guys, you can go to dinner it's okay.'

'Are you crazy? We're staying.' Harry said.

'No, really, I just wanna be on my own for a bit,' I started, wiping my nose with my sleeve. 'Bring me some apple pie?' I asked with a gentle laugh, trying trying to lighten the atmosphere.

'Of course,' Ginny smiled, 'And if I see him so help me-'

I chuckled and said goodbye to them, finally able to process everything.

I sat alone with my thoughts for a while before hearing a knock at my door. I got up from my bed, already in my comfy clothes as I wasn't leaving the room.

I opened the door.

'Y/N, I'm so sorry can we tal-' Ron stood there before me, rambling.

I went to close the door in his face, he was the last person I wanted to see right now, but he pushed himself through the door.

'What do you want Ron, I saw.'

'Look I can explai-'

'I don't want to hear it right now okay,' I spoke, my voice trembling. 'How, how could you.'

'Please, let me explain and it'll make sense.'

'Explain what, Ronald, how you'd choose her over me? I get it, trust me I get it, but right now, I need you to get out of here.'

'Y/N-'

'Now.'

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