Dance With Me

Damaged Goods

What Caleb feels like at the moment I guess ^^^ and the song is Hotel Ceiling by Rixon

LEAVE A COMMENT WHAT YOU THINK WILL HAPPEN NEXT!!!

Enjoy:

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Caleb's POV:

I fucked up. I ruined the date. I ruined my chances. I ruined everything. Again.

It wasn't suppose to end that way, I was suppose to bring Rosie to that field and we would gaze at the stars for a while and then I would bring her home just in time and try to build up the courage to at least hug her good night.

I wasn't suppose to hurt her, I never meant too. I was so mad when the douche bag, James, tried touching Rosie. The way he presented himself, all cocky and arrogant, made me want to shove my fork up his ass until he could taste the metal.

I honestly never meant to hurt anyone, especially not Rosie. She was silk, so delicate and soft but easy to break. I couldn't do that to her. Then when she brought up Brian, I just lost it. I couldn't handle the thought of someone else having her, touching her, loving her.

I sound like a love sick possessive prick but Rosie gives me these feelings that overwhelm every fiber in my body. I don't know how to show them, or even use them but I want too.

When I dropped her off last night, everything just hit me when she walked away. All the feelings of regret and guilt overpowered me to the point that I had to force myself to stay inside my truck because I knew she needed space.

Hell, I would want space from me if I was her too. Ever since he ruined everything for me, I was never the same. Anybody could tell that I was different, the way I presented myself or treated others but that was how I was taught. I can't control it.

I've been wide awake since 2 AM, just thinking about how I messed up. I'm going crazy thinking about the cause and effects of my actions.

You could say I'm insane.

It's now 10 AM the morning after my date with Rosie, I haven't changed or even gotten a wink of sleep but all that doesn't matter. What matters is how I hurt the ones I care about. You could say it's in my genes but that's no excuse for the damaged I caused last night.

I would never forgive myself for physically hurting Rosie, I'd be surprised if she even thought about forgiving me. I wouldn't. But I need her too.

The sound of someone opening my door caused all my attention to leave the music coming from my headphones and focus on Amanda standing at the door frame. She just stared at me, not moving or saying anything. Which scared me because I knew she knew something was up. It's not hard to figure out what happened though.

"What'd you do now?" She spoke before letting out a sigh.

"I fucked up." I answered shortly before staring at my ceiling again.

"Well I knew that but what exactly did you do?" She said before laying down next to me on my bed. She stared up at the ceiling as well while waiting for me to answer.

"Everything was great in the beginning, I took her to that little diner we went to the first day we moved here. Then this douche bag, James, and his friends came in and started harassing Rosie. I got pissed and tried to punch him."

"What do you mean tried?" She questioned and moved her head to look at me.

I sighed before mumbling, "Rosie got in the way."

I felt a sharp sting on my left arm from Amanda smacking me.

"What the fuck do you mean she got in the way?! What the hell is wrong with you!" She yelled while standing up and pacing around my room. I felt tears well up in my eyes and dragged my hands down my face.

"I know." I whispered. I heard her movements stop so I looked up at her. She was standing in front of me with soft eyes and open arms, waiting for me to take her embrace. I stood up and walked into her arms, hugging tightly while letting all the sobs that I've been holding in out.

I cried and cried, over my sorrow and guilt that has been trapped within me for what felt like centuries. Sometimes a little bit of comfort is all you need.

"Shh, it'll be alright." Amanda whispered into my ear as my sobs died down. Her hands rubbed up and down my back, soothing my jerking body.

"What else happened?" She gently asked. I drew in several deep breaths before retracting from her hug and sitting on the edge of my bed, Amanda following suit.

"I took her to a field to look at the stars and we danced a little and then we started talking about what we liked and everything about each other and she started to mention this guy named Brian and how they almost got together and I just lost it. I was scared, I don't know what of but I just started yelling and she just said she wanted to go home so I took her home."

"Have you tried taking to her?" She asked from beside me. I shook my head and looked down at my hands.

"Maybe you should just give her some space, I'll talk to her but I think it's best if you left her alone for a bit." Amanda spoke while getting up and walking towards the door.

"Amanda" I called. "Thank you."

She turned around and gave me a smile before shutting my door. I felt the sting of tears come back but I made sure to hold them in.

'Don't show any weaknesses, people will use them against you.' That's what he would always say when I would cry in front of him.

It's hard to trust anyone, especially when the ones closest to you destroy everything you have. What James said was right, my dad did beat us to the extent where he got caught and is currently still in jail. I don't usually talk about it to anyone, Amanda and my step dad, John, know what happened and apparently the whole god damn town does too. What he did to us is private, only we should know about it and deal with the pain that is still incased within us.

It's funny how rumors spread fast. You think your secrets are safe, but they always get out and spread like wildfire.

We try to be happy, well my mom does. She is happy with John and her new life but I can always see the pain behind her eyes. But fake happiness is still the worst sadness.

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"Caleb?" Amanda's voice once again woke me from my thoughts. I haven't moved in the last three hours.

"Yeah" I answered. I heard her open my door and walk towards me until her footsteps stopped. I looked up to see her face covered in a frown. I sat up and stared at her as she stared right back.

"You really hurt her." She mumbled. I let out a shaky breath while nodding. "I know" I answered.

"I just went over there, she's not doing any better than you are." She spoke with a gentle tone, trying to calm some of the unspoken guilt inside of me.

"I wouldn't doubt it, I know I fucked up. I just don't know how to fix it."

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Sometimes you just gotta stay silent, cause no words can explain the shit that's going on in your mind and heart.

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Okay, I know this is long overdue but hopefully I'll get back into steady update in the near future. Sorry for the wait.

Comment what you think will happen next, thanks for sticking with me loves.

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~Lizziebear